Howdy, Seltzer: I Dueled 8 Flavors of High Noon, and These Were the Best

While a lot of other brands were out chasing standard hard seltzers that more or less taste exactly the same, High Noon peeked its head into the arena and went a different direction. The Modesto, California-based spirits company got hot for vodka-based hard seltzers, and now that High Noon has moved into the world of tequila, there are four fresh flavors to help the lineup. 

Bar prices can be brutal, so grabbing some of these cans for some makeshift cocktails is a lot easier on your bank account. And, following in the footsteps of the others, High Noon seltzers are 100 calories, gluten-free, and feature no added sugar. But which ones are the right choice? I found out for ya. Here are eight High Noon hard seltzer flavors, ranked from best to worst.

Samples were provided by High Noon. Prices and availability are subject to change.

Related: I Tried 8 Vizzy Hard Seltzer Flavors, and This Is the Best

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Yeah, this is great. It’s a paloma, basically, and there ain’t a thing wrong with that. This is about as easy to drink as any hard seltzer I’ve ever tasted, and by easy to drink, I mean that I finished an entire can in an embarrassingly short amount of time. These things go quickly. If High Noon ever drops a mezcal-based seltzer, I’m praying they’ll keep the grapefruit flavors flowing.

Related: I Tried 8 Topo Chico Hard Seltzer Flavors — This Is the Best

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This, much like its tequila counterpart, is delicious. It’s a negligible difference between first and second place, but I simply believe grapefruit pairs better with tequila than vodka. 

Overall, I find vodka to be stupid. It seems like the only spirit where its own natural flavor is discouraged. With whiskey, for example, the complex flavors are celebrated. With vodka, you have luxury brands bragging about how little their vodka tastes like vodka. So dumb.

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Dainty — that’s the word I’d use to describe this. It’s just like a real strawberry, like a fresh smack of fruitiness on a breezy spring day. Pack these for a picnic. Or crush them while you watch the NBA playoffs. I intend to do both.

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I would not have expected a flavor like passion fruit to be this subtle. I’m really impressed with High Noon’s balance, pretty much across the board. There always seems to be the exact, perfect amount of flavor. I don’t even care about passion fruit, but sure, I’ll drink two, three, four, eight cans of this, no problem.

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When I was in my early 20s, I did that thing where you stick a bottle of vodka into a watermelon, let it soak overnight, and then eat it. I assume most people in their early 20s have done some variation of this. If you want to return to the days of getting drunk off a slice of watermelon, here’s a far less insane way to do it.

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Because High Noon tastes so much like real tequila, the lime flavor here sends your brain straight to margarita land. However, because a margarita is not just tequila and lime juice, it’s almost like there’s a little something missing, like ground beef and cheese on a cracker rather than a burger bun. Still, at the end of it all, it tastes like an actual cocktail. Isn’t that what we want from something like this?

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Black Cherry is a solid flave, but it’s easily the most powerful. For the most part, High Noons taste like real vodka mixed with real fruit juice. This is the only one that tastes artificial, and for that, I have no choice but to dock some points.

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This is quite a punch of pineapple. But again, I must admit, it tastes real. Like actual pineapple juice, mixed with vodka and sparkling water. All I want in the world is a pellet ice machine for situations like this.