Cheapism
If you're lucky enough to be invited a white elephant party, you're going to want to be prepared. That means showing up with a gift that people will covet (translation: steal) for its usefulness, quirkiness, or unrivaled hilarity. Here are the best white elephant gifts that fall into all three categories, from a punny card game to a Star Wars Chia Pet.
Prices and availability are subject to change.
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$22 from TeePublic
This T-shirt is funny no matter if you know the character on it or not (for the record, it's The Swedish Chef from "The Muppet Show"). It's available in five styles, more than two dozen colors, and sizes up to 5XL.
$20 from Amazon
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The folks who make Chia Pets have introduced a bunch of Star Wars-inspired planters. We honestly can't decide if this one or the baby Yoda version will be fought over more, so we'll let you make that call.
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$10 from Amazon
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Let someone's inner animal out with these socks, printed with images of animal paws. Make your choice based on the animal they remind you of the most, including dogs, polar bears, and more.
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$18 from Amazon
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This makes a great gift for someone who is sick of everyone asking them what they're having for lunch. The insulated tote is made to look like they're transporting human organs, something anyone with an offbeat sense of humor will love.
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$17 from Amazon
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Few authors are as clever and witty as they are informative, but Bill Bryson is near the top of the list in that category. This bestselling book is equal parts human anatomy and humor.
$15 from Amazon
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This hilarious book pays tribute to decades of bad bridal fashion that will have female white elephant guests in fits of laughter (that is, when the book isn't being stolen from them).
$35 from Amazon
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Because, yes, there apparently is a slow cooker with every imaginable theme these days.
$26 from Amazon
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Sample review: "This is both ridiculous and spectacular. It just might be my best Amazon impulse-buy ever." Translation: a white elephant party hit in the making.
$22 from Amazon
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This 18-piece kit contains lots of steal-worthy stuff: a snack clip, comfy socks, face- and hand-cleansing towelettes, sporks, a sofa yoga guide, and a two-sided coin to help decide: "one more" or "go to bed."
$13 from Snark Gifts
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This candle will resonate with many of your party participants on so many levels, we'll bet anyone who doesn't end up with it will be asking you where you found it.
$10 from Amazon
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Literally everyone could use a serotonin boost these days. Give it to your party goers via unbearably endearing creatures.
$13 from Amazon
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Sometimes the most popular gifts are the ones that are actually useful, and this coffee warmer will keep any work-from-homer fueled throughout the day.
Related: Perk 'Em Up with These Great Gifts for Coffee Lovers
$14 from Amazon
Directly contradicting the concept that swearing is a sign of "a stunted vocabulary or a limited intellect," author Emma Byrne takes a scientific look in this book at how profanity can actually have "surprising benefits."
$11 from Amazon
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This notepad is great for that loved one who would rather just leave a grouchy message than argue. The WTF notepad offers plenty of prickly options such as "WTF were you thinking?" and "WTF is wrong with you?" and the notes can be applied to any situation they find annoying.
$29 and up from Amazon
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If your friends and family love cocktails, it's almost a guarantee that this stylish set of tumblers is gonna be a hot ticket white elephant item. You might even want to steal 'em back yourself.
$12 from Amazon
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This is just one of those things that most people don't realize they want until they know it exists.
$17 and up from Uncommon Goods
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Because cute but impractical gifts are just the type of gifts you should be toting along to the white elephant party. Each taco-dino holds two hard-shell tacos and makes meals a roaring good time for all.
$19 from Amazon
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People cannot resist cute and miniature things, and we're guessing the participants at your white elephant get-together won't be any different.
$28 from Amazon
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It's pretty much a guarantee that anything that was once advertised on late-night TV and seeped into the collective snark of the national consciousness will make for a perfect white elephant gift.
$16 from Amazon
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Okay, yes, this is actually a sweatshirt, but with over 30 styles to choose from, you can find an option that someone at your white elephant party will decide they can't live without.
Related: Hottest Holiday Gifts From Amazon
$32 and up from Amazon
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Anyone can buy a tortilla blanket and think it's cute, but the truly imaginative know that bacon is going to trump tortilla at just about any white elephant gathering.
$30 from Amazon
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A white elephant gift doesn't have to be funny or naughty to be stealable. Take, for instance, this set of 24 fortune-cookie-shaped bath bombs that are colorful, conceal a fortune inside, and contain "100% pure, natural ingredients and essential oils."
$24 and up from Amazon
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It might not be the cleverest of gifts at the white elephant party, but it's warm and fuzzy when we could all use a little more warm and fuzzy in our lives. It comes in six different colors and patterns.
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$15 from Amazon
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Dog shaming is popular on social media and it won't be any less so at your white elephant gathering. This book offers 192 pages dedicated to the naughtiest (but clearly repentant, in some cases) pups.
$10 from Amazon
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You cannot bring something as lame as a coaster set to a white elephant party and not expect it to get swapped. Unless, of course, the coasters you bring are so cool, clever, and fun that they will be a coveted item.
$10 from Amazon
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There are few people out there who don't love dogs, and who can resist a collage of dogs making the goofiest faces possible while trying to catch a treat?
$9 from Amazon
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It's funny looking, colorful, and provides pleasure — in other words, totally stealable.
$25 from Amazon
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We could all use something to reverse the negative energy in our lives. There's bound to be one hippie at the party, right?
$15 from Amazon
What could be more off-beat and beachy than a pair of novelty pool shoes in the shape of a lobster? Available in two colors.
$14 from Walmart
If you've got punny friends, this card game is sure to be a hit at the white elephant party. It'll be punsof fun.
$30 from Amazon
After drawing a card that sets a topic, you have to give your wittiest response that'll begin with a randomized word or phrase. Not only does this game promise to be a highly coveted white elephant gift, but you can also play a round after exchanging gifts.
$10 from Amazon
Tired of the same old self-help drivel? Spice up your white elephant game with tongue-in-cheek advice from Star Wars' most assertive villains, from Darth Vader to Palpatine.