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Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

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Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

Once You Pop ...

There are few on-the-go breakfasts as tasty or convenient as a Pop-Tart. Do you like them raw? Do you like them toasted? Do you like them frozen, which is apparently a thing, according to the box?


No matter what your preference, you still might want to know what the best flavors are. I’m here to help; I bought every box of Pop-Tarts I could find and ranked them based on taste. Here are 13 of the best Pop-Tarts flavors, ranked — including one, in last place, that I truly, truly hated. 

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

Best: Brown Sugar Cinnamon

$2.62 for an 8-pack from Walmart

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In the case of the Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart, I don’t know where a legitimate masterpiece begins and a lifetime of bias ends. I love this food so very much. It was with me as a child, it was with me in college, and it’s with me today.


What’s better than hot brown sugar and cinnamon in a pastry with a little bit of crunchy icing? If it wouldn’t put me in the grave, I’d eat one of these every day for the rest of my life.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

2. Strawberry

$2.62 for an 8-pack from Walmart

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No other berry can compete. Strawberry Pop-Tarts are so festive and bright, it’s impossible not to fall in love with them immediately. I love the balance between tart and sweet in the filling. I love the multicolored sprinkles. A+ work, everybody.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

3. Cherry

$4.98 for a 16-pack from Walmart

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This will divide people, no doubt about it. I happen to have an affinity for cherry filling. I was the kid who ate those nasty Hostess cherry hand pies. This takes me back to a simpler time. The sad truth is that I’ll probably never buy any flavor beyond Brown Sugar Cinnamon and Frosted Strawberry, but if I was ever feeling adventurous, Frosted Cherry is the first flavor I’d reach for.


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Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

4. Wild Berry

$4.98 for a 16-pack from Walmart

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Purples and blues are usually not the colors that draw me into baked goods, but Wild Berry is actually quite a heater. The dark berry flavor filling isn’t too artificial and neither, shockingly, is the Nickelodeon-purple frosting on top.


Speaking of Nickelodeon, I distinctly remember this Tart being cross-promoted with the animated series, “The Wild Thornberrys.” Apparently this never happened. Some other people I’ve talked to also remember this, so do we have a Mandela effect on our hands?


Related: Here Are 9 of the Best Toaster Strudel Flavors, Ranked


Wilder Shaw / Cheapism
Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

6. Apple Jacks

$4.98 for a 16-pack from Walmart

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This should hit harder since it’s so similar to Brown Sugar Cinnamon, but it’s forgettably tasty. I like Apple Jacks quite a bit, and I suppose this is supposed to taste like an apple cinnamon Pop-Tart? I’m not really sure. It’s pretty subtle. I might buy these again one day.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

7. Blueberry

$2.62 for an 8-pack from Walmart

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I like this more than I thought I would, but it’s probably nothing I’d choose myself. If it was available at a hotel, yeah, I’ll grab one. It’s not overly artificial, and really kind of reminds me of a hot blueberry muffin.


But, this is where a very important line is drawn. I could eat the full sleeve of both Pop-Tarts for every flavor above this one. I’m not eating a whole sleeve of Frosted Blueberry. No way.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

8. Eggo Waffle Frosted Maple

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I had no idea what kind of Tart awaited me in the shiny foil on this one. If I had a thousand guesses, I never would have guessed what kind of visual I’d get on this one. The dough itself looks a lot more yellow; whether this is because it’s made with Eggo waffles or because they’ve injected food coloring to make it look that way, I don’t know. 


It’s also criss-crossed, wellington-style, with a dark yellow icing that appears to be butter-flavored. The whole thing tastes like a big waffle with butter and syrup. Hand shakes all around.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

9. S'Mores

$4.98 for a 16-pack from Walmart

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There is probably no better way to make s’mores at home than this. It’s a perfect s’more, everything equally melty and contained in the graham cracker. Though desserts like this are usually too decadent for me, I’m all in on this one.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

10. Cookies and Cream

$2.62 for an 8-pack from Walmart

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This is a lot easier to get into than the other two chocolate options for me, but it’s still just way too rich. I appreciate that it tastes like an Oreo, but I could only begrudgingly eat an entire pastry.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

11. Banana Bread

$4.98 for a 16-pack from Walmart

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For me, the banana is an extremely underwhelming fruit. The texture is unpleasant, the flavor is forgettable, and you have to peel them open like an ape. The only good banana, in my opinion, is one that has been Fostered. 


So I’m surprised to say that even though this is not much different from bananas foster, I’m still not into it. There’s so much gingerbread-cinnamon flavor coming through from the dough that the crunch of the icing and the sugar lose their ability to recreate a nice brûlée.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

12. Chocolate Fudge

$2.62 for an 8-pack from Walmart

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They’re really going for the hot-fudge-death-by-chocolate-chip thing here, and I am simply not the target demographic for that. I’m a little baby when it comes to chocolate. It’s so freakin’ decadent, I don’t understand how people can eat so much of it. 


This is a dessert, not a breakfast.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

13. Snickerdoodle

$2.62 for an 8-pack from Walmart

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I was very curious to see how they’d differentiate this from Brown Sugar Cinnamon, considering that’s basically the flavor profile of a snickerdoodle. Thus begins a tale of sabotage.


Turns out this is an unfrosted Pop-Tart. Fooled me. I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve omitted the unfrosted versions from this ranking because I see those as a waste of time. All of them are worse than their frosted counterpart. Though Snickerdoodle doesn't say “Frosted” on the box the way the others do, the artwork here is very misleading.


Let me tell you the next thing that happened. When my toaster popped up to show me the Tart was done, it did so alone. There was no Pop-Tart in the slot. I looked down and saw that my Snickerdoodle had fallen to the bottom of my toaster. It took so long to get it out. Royally messed up my toaster. Every time I turned it on after that, it began to smoke and burn. I need to buy a new toaster now.


Because I have the adaptability of an Alpine ibex, I tasted the next one at room temp. It was dusty and dry, like taking a bite of a wall, and filled with a sticky, caramely, cinnamony substance. I truly hated it. 


One of the many ways that I’m like Denzel Washington is that I love to dispense justice. So, here, take a last place rating. Idiot Snickerdoodle.