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McDonald's just doesn't hit the same as it did in the 1980s. Now it's got overpriced burgers, cranky, underpaid employees, and fries that are no longer cooked in beef tallow. But to kids, it used to be a magical place where having your birthday party under the golden arches was the epitome of awesome.
From party favors to the fabled sheet cake, here's what birthday parties at McDonald's used to look like at their peak in the '80s.
Who remembers those Happy Meal boxes and the brown and yellow arch design on the cups? Looks like Grimace and Ronald are gracing the cake.
Everything in this party is festooned with Ronald McDonald, including the kids’ crowns, placemats, and a very unusual wooden throne designed for the birthday kid.
The sheet cake almost seems like an afterthought in this photo because we’re fixated on the employee’s red uniform jumper and the birthday boy’s Michael Jackson t-shirt.
This McD’s birthday party feels much more subdued and organized than most. Even the forks are lined up perfectly ready for the cake.
These birthday celebrators are working on getting their Ronald McDonald crowns sorted out. And do we spy an ashtray on that table?! Different times.
Mac Tonight is a little-known McDonald’s mascot from the late ‘80s, with a giant moon head, sunglasses, and talent for piano playing. These poor kids look terrified of him at a birthday party, and rightly so.
Speaking of sunglasses, these party attendees are having the time of their lives on this indoor McDonald’s merry-go-round.
These girls are in their best party clothes for a group photo to commemorate the birthday. Behind them you can see the iconic Mayor McCheese playground equipment.
There’s so much to love about this collection of McD’s birthday pics, from the kids REALLY excited about fries to Ronald delivering birthday cake.
Most of the party-goers in this picture chose to wear Grimace on their heads instead of Ronald, and we have to say they chose the better mascot.
It doesn’t seem like this girl is having a bad time — how could she be at a McDonald’s birthday party?! But she does seem to love making faces for photos, and girl, same.
These kids are gearing up for a huge sheet cake, but look behind them: There’s a cart full of ice cream sundaes ready and waiting, too. That’s the life!
This helpful flyer tells you everything you wanted to know about booking a birthday party. It was only 55 cents per child for a balloon, party hat, and coupon for free food next time.
Fry Guy is a little suspicious of the kid that appears to be asleep on top of the hamburger ride.
It looks like kids at some of McD's birthday parties used to play games, like these party-goers seem to be doing. By the decor, it seems like a very sophisticated location.
Everyone at this party looks so dressed up. The little girl with the pageboy haircut is clearly proud of her cheeseburger, but unsure of the photographer.
McDonald’s employees are trained in making burgers and fries, and not cake decorating, as demonstrated by Louis’ 4th birthday cake here.
If your McDonald’s had a special party room like this, you were living large. That tree probably haunts people’s dreams, though.
These special birthday placemats are pretty cool, but who the heck are the wizard and pirate characters in the back? Oh wait, it's the long-forgotten Professor and Captain Crook.