Products You Won't Believe Exist
Tijana87/istockphoto

25 Products You Won't Believe Exist

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Products You Won't Believe Exist
Tijana87/istockphoto

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE … REALLY

The internet is a treasure trove of bizarre products. Amazon alone is home to a never-ending stream of head-scratching items — and some of them you may even want. But there's another, perhaps larger, group of products that leaves us asking a painfully obvious question: "Who would buy that?" Here are 25 of them.

Creepy Cage Face Throw Pillow
Courtesy of amazon.com

CREEPY CAGE FACE THROW PILLOW


Price:$21.95 | Buy it on Amazon
Just what everyone needs in their life: An indescribably creepy throw pillow featuring the fleshy face of movie star Nicolas Cage. Choose from three sizes, and fear not: He'll leer at you from both sides.

Handerpants
Courtesy of mcphee.com

HANDERPANTS


Price:$9.95 | Buy it at Archie McPhee
Tighty whities aren't just underwear anymore. Handerpants are fingerless gloves that look like men's undies. Wear them under your gloves or "on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement." Couldn't have said it better ourselves.

Runny Nose Shower Dispenser
Courtesy of amazon.com

RUNNY NOSE SHOWER DISPENSER


Price:$11.49 | Buy it on Amazon
You, too, can be every grade-school boy's hero by installing this giant runny-nose dispenser in their shower. Fill it with shower gel or shampoo and stick it to the wall with the suction cups. Then squeeze the nostril and, well, ewww.

Super Big Wrapped in Warmth Happy Furry Jeans Sleeping Bag
Courtesy of japantrendshop.com

SUPER BIG WRAPPED IN WARMTH HAPPY FURRY JEANS SLEEPING BAG


Price:$403 | Buy it at Japan Trend Shop
Yes, that's the actual name of the product. Yes, it’s a giant pair of jeans that can sleep two, complete with soft, furry fabric and built-in pillows. Yes, there are holes in the legs for your faces to peek out of. Yes, it costs nearly $500, plus another $75 for shipping.

Inflatable Irish Pub
Courtesy of hammacher.com

INFLATABLE IRISH PUB


Price:$5,000 | Buy it at Hammacher Schlemmer
Never mind that $5,000 could actually buy you a pretty nice trip to Ireland: It can also buy you a 75-square-foot inflatable pub to set a jovial mood for your next soiree. Sadly, you'll have to pay extra for an air pump to inflate the behemoth — or have superhuman lungs.

Custom Beer or Soda Urn
Courtesy of inthelighturns.com

CUSTOM BEER OR SODA URN


Price:$69.95 | Buy it at In the Light Urns
Whether your loved one was never without a Coke or a Natty Light, this beer- or soda-can urn gives them the send-off they deserve. Just be sure to keep it far, far away from the real beverages.

Human Pet House
Courtesy of japantrendshop.com

HUMAN PET HOUSE


Price:$136 | Buy it at Japan Trend Shop
When your house or apartment starts feeling just a bit too big, it's time to snuggle up in this oversized bubblegum-pink pet house "and enjoy the slow life at home." Six times the size of an actual house for cats, it folds for storage if you need to hide it from your friends.

Nunc Bianco Silver
Courtesy of nunclife.com

NUNC BIANCO SILVER


Price:$189 | Buy it at Nunc
What's a Nunc? A watch that doesn't tell time. But don’t take our word for it. By wearing a Nunc, you have "a reminder to be present, to capture opportunities as they present themselves." Check out some other truly bizarre luxury items here.

Fake Belly Waist Pack
Courtesy of amazon.com

FAKE BELLY WAIST PACK


Price:$11.98 | Buy it on Amazon
No one ever claimed that a fanny pack was cool, but if you'd like to take your ironic fashion statement one step further, there’s this "dad bag" fake belly waist pack. Whether you want a belly covered with coarse, dark hair; tattoos; pale, fleshy flab; or chiseled abs, there’s an option for you.

Holy Toast Bread Stamp
Courtesy of perpetualkid.com

HOLY TOAST BREAD STAMP


Price:$2.89 | Buy it at Perpetual Kid
If you've felt an aching spiritual void permeating your breakfast, take note: The Virgin Mary is here to bless your bread. Just stamp it, pop it in your toaster, and rejoice in your newly holy morning meal.

Bunyanesque Backpack
Courtesy of hammacher.com

BUNYANESQUE BACKPACK


Price:$49.95 | Buy it at Hammacher Schlemmer
Turn heads on campus with this massive, blingy backpack, which has a whopping 6.5 cubic feet of space. What, pray tell, could you stuff in it? Just your entire wardrobe, an air mattress and bedding, or even a whole series of encyclopedias.

Horsehead Pillow
Courtesy of kropserkel.com

HORSEHEAD PILLOW


Price:$45 | Buy it at Kropserkel
"Send someone a message they will never forget without the risk of facing prison time for it." Indeed. But wait, here’s an offer you really can't refuse: You can even order a "whole herd" of horse heads at wholesale prices.

Puking Unicorn Cell Phone Case
Courtesy of shop-milkyway.com

PUKING UNICORN CELL PHONE CASE


Price:$17 | Buy it at Milky Way
If you need any more proof than the Unicorn Frappuccino that the unicorn trend has gone too far, we submit this rainbow-barfing-unicorn phone case.

Shocked Trump Swimsuit
Courtesy of belovedshirts.com

SHOCKED TRUMP SWIMSUIT


Price:$49.95 | Buy it at Beloved
Want to make your beach bod great again? Here you go: a Trump bathing suit. If Trump's not your thing, George W. Bush, Kim Jong Un, and Vladimir Putin are also available.

Senior Woman with Asthma Wall Decal
Courtesy of amazon.com

SENIOR WOMAN WITH ASTHMA WALL DECAL


Price:$27.15 | Buy it on Amazon
Next time you have a blank wall just beckoning for some embellishment, consider this wall decal of a woman using her inhaler. If you're more into oral health, consider "Senior Lady With Toothbrush."

Dog Poop Catcher
Courtesy of keekir.com

DOG POOP CATCHER


Price:$29.90 | Buy it at Keekir
Want to make your dog a total outcast at the dog park? Clip this "innovative pooper scooper" onto their tail and watch their dignity die a slow (and smelly) death. (Also, the thought of cleaning the silicone teeth seems worse than simply picking up the poop normally.)

Yodeling Pickle
Courtesy of mcphee.com

YODELING PICKLE


Price:$9.75 | Buy it at Archie McPhee
If gag gifts are supposed to cause complete and utter befuddlement, the Yodeling Pickle has succeeded. It will put all of your non-yodeling pickles to shame, with "no briney odor" to boot.

Ebola Cross-Stitch
Courtesy of etsy.com

EBOLA CROSS-STITCH


Price:$20 | Buy it at Etsy
There's nothing more charming to hang on your wall than a cross-stitch in its hoop … unless, of course, the design depicts the Ebola virus in all its glory. If Ebola's not your favorite pathogen, there's also herpes, Mad Cow, the common cold, and so much more.

The NoPhone
Courtesy of thenophone.com

THE NO PHONE


Price:$12 | Buy it at NoPhone
Irked by a friend or family member's slavish devotion to their phone? The makers of No Phone, essentially a pet rock for modern times, hope you're so irked that you'll pay $12 "to always have a rectangle of smooth, cold plastic to clutch without forgoing any potential engagement with your direct environment."

Diarrhea Shirt
Courtesy of amazon.com

DIARRHEA SHIRT


Price:$17.95 | Buy it at Amazon
When you're antisocial, but you still need to go to the grocery, a shirt that says "Ask Me About My Explosive Diarrhea" is a pretty good way to ensure people keep their distance.

Panwaffle
Courtesy of amazon.com

PANWAFFLE


Price:$39.95 | Buy it at Amazon
There's nothing at all inappropriate about this onesie. Just a cute saying, and a picture of a weed to illustrate it. Nope, nothing to see here.

Growing Like a Weed Onsie
Courtesy of amazon.com

GROWING LIKE A WEED ONESIE


Price:$19.95 | Buy it at Amazon
There's nothing at all inappropriate about this onesie. Just a cute saying, and a picture of a weed to illustrate it. Nope, nothing to see here.

The Pepperphile's Peppermill
Courtesy of hammacher.com

THE PEPPERPHILE'S PEPPERMILL


Price:$189.95 | Buy it at Hammacher Schlemmer
Do you really like pepper? Or would you appreciate a tabletop accoutrement that can double as a weapon in case of a home invasion? Either way, this 3-foot hardwood peppermill is for you.

Lewis N. Clark Urban Gear Spork
Courtesy of amazon.com

LEWIS N. CLARK URBAN GEAR SPORK


Price:$4.95 | Buy it at Amazon
If you're a spork lover who feels like your favorite utensil gets no respect, it's time to upgrade to this rugged stainless-steel model. It includes a quick-release clip, a bottle opener, and a serrated knife-edge. Clearly, this is a spork that means business.

Crafting With Cat Hair Book
Courtesy of firebox.com

CRAFTING WITH CAT HAIR: CUTE HANDICRAFTS TO MAKE WITH YOUR CAT


Price:$15.89 | Buy it at Firebox
Don't misunderstand: This is more than a bonding experience. You're actually making these crafts with a fresh crop of your feline's fur. Pro tip: Your cat will shed more in the summer, leaving you with more raw materials.