22 Nasty Old-School Foods & Drinks People Wouldn't Even Think of Giving Their Kids Today

When you see what kids eat today — with all the chia and quinoa and gluten-free, vegan options — and compare it to the sugary, artificially-flavored junk we were addicted to, you might wonder: "Did our parents care at all?" But in their defense, their parents probably gave them cocaine drops for toothaches, so they thought they were doing better. 

This just proves that times change — and in this case, for the better. Still, we can’t help but look back on these terrible, very bad, no-good foods with a sense of nostalgia.

Here are 22 foods and drinks that we loved, but today's parents would never give to their kids.

When Tang hit the shelves in the 1950s, our parents thought the space-age orange dust was great for their kids; after all, it was good enough for astronauts. As it turns out, one serving of Tang (8 fluid ounces) contains 29 grams of sugar, almost as much as a can of soda. The American Heart Association recommends kids consume less than 25 grams of added sugar per day, and Tang blows past that limit in just one glass. So, modern parents: Opt for healthier, earthling versions of vitamin C, like a squeezed orange.

If you were a kid in the '80s, you probably snacked on Jell-O Pudding Pops. These pops were basically frozen pudding on a stick; in commercials, Bill Cosby, dressed as an ice cream man, assured you that they were made with real pudding. But now? Let’s just say that even the thought of serving anything Cosby-endorsed is enough to make modern parents break out in a cold sweat. Add to that the high fructose corn syrup, and it’s no wonder these treats were discontinued in the '90s.

If I were to serve this can of pasta rings floating in a sea of suspiciously orange sauce to my Gen-Alpha European kid, I’m afraid it might end with "Uh oh, Social Services." But we were absolutely obsessed with SpaghettiOs as kids. As advertised, it was “less messy” than real pasta, which made it super convenient for our parents as well.

In 2012, when Twinkies was discontinued, Americans wept in shock that their young would never be able to taste the god of snacks, the epitome of Americana flavor. But then in 2022, the crisis was averted, and Twinkies returned to store shelves. Only now, the parents of today don’t want their kids to go near the snack that is banned in a couple of countries and packed with processed flour, too much sugar, and hydrogenated oils.

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Soft, white, and ridiculously devoid of nutrients, Wonder Bread was the foundation of many a childhood sandwich. It was a quick and easy option, perfect for making PB&Js. These days, parents are all about whole grains and breads with an ingredient list that doesn’t go beyond flour, water, and yeast.

Nothing was cooler than this neon green drink that's been on the shelves since the 1960s. What we missed was that it was mostly sugar water with a spooky hue, which modern parents would be reluctant to give to their offspring.

Fruit Roll-Ups were the art project you could eat. These sticky sheets, which were more sugar than fruit and a dental nightmare, will never be found in the modern pantry. Regardless of how nostalgic you are, that's a good thing.

Parents in the '90s loved the convenience, and kids loved the excitement that Lunchables brought to lunchtime, so we all kind of overlooked the sodium content that could rival the ocean.

They were cheap, simple, and delicious. You could slap a slice of bologna between bread, add mustard (and maybe cheese if you were fancy), and lunch was ready. We never even bothered to question what bologna was made of. And oh boy, the nutritional delusion we were living in.

Microwave dinners that came with a sprinkle of nutritional neglect were busy parents’ lifesavers, and for kids, eating a TV dinner was always a treat. However, TV dinners aren’t exactly healthy, since they're loaded with preservatives, artificial flavors, and sodium.

Six feet of bubble gum seemed like the ultimate treat. We loved that sugary rubber so much, and our parents thought it was a fun way to keep us entertained. What they didn’t realize was that it was pure sugar and a dentist’s nightmare. 

Tiny sausages in a can were seen as quick protein on the go. However, they're packed with sodium and contain questionable ingredients. Modern snacks tend to be more fresh, and not something that could survive a zombie apocalypse.

Dunkaroos is yet another snack that was discontinued and then brought back out of nostalgia. It was dipped in sugar, and we loved every sugary second of it. However, Betty Crocker cannot fool modern parents who would rather go for whole grain cookies made from oats or quinoa. 

When you’re a kid, you question everything. Why is the sky blue? Why can't I have ice cream for breakfast? But when it came to cheese in a can, like Easy Cheese, we didn't dare question that genius invention rivaling the wheel. We knew it was suspicious that cheese, which is supposed to be solid, could now be sprayed like whipped cream, but we just went with it.

Well, unfortunately — or fortunately for today's kids — parents know better.Cheese in a can is not on the modern shopping list, as it contains pesticides, hormones, antibiotics, mercury, BPA, dioxin, and who knows what else.

Froot Loops brought the rainbow to our breakfast bowls, but nutritionally, it's about as beneficial as a bowl of raw cement. This American nostalgic breakfast staple is banned in several European countries due to its ingredient list, which reads more like a shampoo bottle. It contains a number of artificial dyes, including Red 40, Yellow 5, Yellow 6, and Blue 1. Studies have shown that these dyes are carcinogenic and harmful to health.

It literally says in fairly big font right there on the label that it has artificial flavors, but hey, what did we know? Artificial, shmartificial — it didn't make a difference. Even if the fruity gum sticks lost their taste after about three seconds, it was worth it. It was so cool that even the Beastie Boys sang about it. Sadly, it was discontinued in January 2024 after 54 years of ruining our nation's teeth.

This gloriously wrong dinner in a box saved many a weeknight for our parents. It was easy and convenient for them and delicious for us. Nutrition-wise, it wasn’t the healthiest choice, as the dish was packed with trans fats and flavor enhancers. But hey, different times.

Back in the day, this pantry staple was a lifesaver for many households. You needed to only mix with water, and you had an instant milk substitute ready to go. It was easy to store, had a long shelf life, and didn’t require refrigeration. 

Basically sugar on a stick, trying all the flavors was a rite of passage to be considered cool as kids. While they’re still tempting kids on store shelves, parents are much stricter about allowing them in abundance these days. It turns out, a diet of pure sugar isn't exactly the best choice. Who knew?

Seriously, Wonka? Flavored sugar in a paper straw? Could it get lazier than this? Alas, Pixy Stix caught on the second they hit the shelves. I mean, it's sugar in a paper straw! Come on! For obvious reasons, you don't see many kids with Pixy Stix today, do you?

This handheld cylinder of sugar in a tube, which you needed to push out in order to taste, made you work for your candy. It was sticky, sugary, and wreaked havoc on our teeth, but we loved it.

As processed as processed food can get, Kraft's Handi-Snacks were everything you wanted in your lunch box. The joy of dunking those little breadsticks into that neon orange cheese was unmatched. Was the orange cheese real cheese? Nah. But did we care? Absolutely not!