These Absolutely Wild Reviews of McDonald's in Paris Are Hilarious

Paris is known for many things, but one of the most revered is the food. To dine in Paris is to dine where food has been worshiped and perfected for generations.

There’s also a McDonald’s. And people choose to eat there. On purpose. I’ll never understand it. What I understand even less is their decision to review it on TripAdvisor, as though visiting one of the busiest McDonald’s in the world will bring anything but misery. Take a look at these TripAdvisor reviews for the Champs-Élysées McDonald’s (which was apparently the most successful Micky D's back in 2016.)

User 167nirajs found the coffee to be “weak and tepid.” If I had ten hours to come up with the most pretentious possible sentence to use in a review of a fast-food restaurant, that would probably be it. It’s not a coffee shop, y’all. It’s a slop house serving thousands and thousands of hangry tourists.

Related: Golden Arch-itecture: Grand and Bizarre McDonald's Around the World

This person found a spider in their burger. That’s about enough to keep me from ever going back to a McDonald’s. At least, that’s what I thought before I read the next review…

Did you think the spider was bad? Brace yourself and check out this nightmare, if you dare.

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Sherlock Holmes over here detected that the “staff appear disorganized and unmotivated.” Fast-food workers? Unmotivated for a job that requires them to put up with nightmare customers like yourself, all day long, for barely a living wage? Shocker.

Related: Hilarious Five-Star Fast-Food Yelp Reviews

I’m trying to understand the story here, but I’m not. Your burger took 45 minutes so you had to harf it down by the counter like a ghoul, for all the customers and employees to be forced to watch? We have different ideas of how restaurants work. 

Related: Absurdly Persnickety Reviews of the Times Square Margaritaville