While couples share everything from toothpaste to a Netflix subscription, sometimes they keep secrets from one another, especially when it comes to finances. Here are a few of the financial secrets some people may be hiding from their partners.
She shows her husband a new pair of shoes she bought.
“How much did they cost?” he asks.
“Oh, not much. They were on sale,” she blushes.
Fudging the truth about how much money they spend is a common secret one person often keeps from their partner.
Sure, sharing that you have $10K in credit card debt isn’t a sexy thing to tell someone on a first date. And some people never reveal this to their partners out of shame. Still, this is a secret that may out itself if the couple applies for a large loan one day … and is denied because of one of the partner’s existing debts.
Many couples combine finances once they get serious, which means both can see all the transactions in the account. But some secret-keepers continue to have a secret account, whether that’s a separate checking or savings account or a secret credit card. The better to make those covert purchases!
Another secret some people keep is the fact that they aren’t great money managers. Maybe they find it impossible to save money or find themselves shopping when they’re stressed or sad. Either way, it’s something they aren’t proud of and may not want to reveal to their partners.
Gambling is a true addiction, and there are people who can’t help themselves. Unfortunately, when they are in a relationship, it becomes something that impacts more than just the gambler. And yet many spouses and partners are completely oblivious to the fact that their partners gamble … until they lose the family’s finances in a bet.
If you or someone you know is struggling with a gambling problem, help is available. The National Council on Problem Gambling provides a range of resources, including answers to commonly asked questions, a gambling behavior self-assessment, information about treatment, and the National Problem Gambling Helpline (1-800-GAMBLER) to help connect you with local resources.
People don’t tend to think about how their own credit situation may one day impact another person. And so they enter a relationship with poor credit and never share this fact with their loved one. That problem may rear its head when the couple tries to get a mortgage or car loan and the lender offers poor terms because of that low credit score.
You notice a large withdrawal from your joint bank account one day and ask your partner about it. He hems and haws and finally tells you that he loaned his loser brother a large sum of money. You’re furious because you know the brother will never pay back the money. Some people do their best to keep their partners from discovering they’ve made personal loans to someone close to them because it’s bound to start an argument.
Another thing people often keep to themselves is investing in things like crypto or in a business, especially if they think their partners won’t agree with the decision.
It seems like someone would be happy to share the good news that they’d inherited money, property, or valuables from a family member, and yet some still keep this news under wraps.
Just as some people are ashamed to share that they have bad credit, many people are also embarrassed to tell their partners that they once filed for bankruptcy. But again, this is a secret that will come to light when the couple applies for a credit card or loan.
Some people don’t want their partners to know how little they earn. Others don’t want to divulge how much they make. Either way, it makes for distrust in a relationship.
Some people don’t share with their partners when they get a raise. That might be because they want to keep the extra money for themselves or put it in a separate, secret account.
When one partner doesn’t reveal that they’ve got a separate account for finances, it’s easy to sneakily funnel money to it for an emergency. What type of emergency would warrant keeping it a secret? Maybe plans for a divorce or an affair — or maybe because they don't trust their partner with the money.
In this case, the secret is a good one: Maybe one partner wants to surprise the other with a significant gift like jewelry or a vacation. In that case, they might surreptitiously squirrel away funds until it’s time for the big reveal.
When one partner is divorced and/or has children from a past relationship, they may not want their current partner to know that they are still paying their ex, as it may create discord in the relationship.
One partner may dream of launching a business, but without funds, is unable to do so. So they take out a loan without telling their partner.
Ladies know how expensive manicures, facials, massages, and other beauty treatments can be … but they don’t always share what those things truly cost with their partners.
No one begrudges a partner for doing a little shopping if the budget allows. But for some, shopping is therapy, and it can become excessive. They may hide both the items they purchased as well as the receipts for their shopping spree from their partner.
For those who aren’t great at managing their finances, it can be all too easy to overdraw a bank account. They might be embarrassed about this blunder and keep it from their spouse.
Another financial subject that some people want to keep hidden from their partners is taxes, particularly unpaid ones. They may feel ashamed that they didn’t pay their taxes on time and that they now have to make payments to the IRS.
Whatever the financial secret, it’s sure to come out sooner or later. Relationships require a solid foundation of trust and honesty, and keeping things like these hidden can end up destroying a relationship.
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