We Tried 23 Hostess Snacks, And These Are the Best

Hostess has delighted us with sweet treats since 1919, and even after all these years: Nobody does snack cakes better.

I myself have had a deep love affair with Hostess for the better part of my 36 years on this planet, but I’ve never really dug much beneath the surface. I’ve hung out with the classics for most of my life, but there are an insane number of products, all with slight variations in shape, size, and color. Which ones are the best? Does Hostess ever make a mistake? 

I tried 23 different types of Hostess products and found out. Find out where your favorite snack landed on the list.

One question you must refrain from asking yourselves throughout the course of this adventure is, “Isn’t that just the same thing in a different shape?” because yes, most of these are just the same thing in a different shape. The teensie-weensie differences matter though, because that’s the whole reason we’re here, you know?

Ho Hos are what one might call “perfect.” They really are. It’s nostalgia wrapped in chocolate and cream, folks. How can anything possibly defeat this? They’re the perfect size, not nearly big enough to feel guilty about. The way the cake and cream filling rolls together with the toothsome icing gives you three textures in every bite. You can crank a Ho Ho in the morning with a cup of coffee or you can make it dessert with an ice cold glass of milk. There’s no wrong time or way to do it. I love you, Ho Hos.

For me, and I suspect for you as well, this is the first product you think of when it comes to Hostess (it's been around since 1919, after all). I really went back and forth between giving this the top spot vs the Ho Ho, because they’re so similar, but as far as the ease of shoving things into my disgusting mouth, log shape is better than squat-pint shape or whatever a Hostess Cupcake is.

Beyond that tiny detail, I love a chocolate Hostess Cupcake with all my heart. As a cheeky gas station grab or a special occasion dessert, they stand alone in the world of consistency. Never once have I had a “bad” one. The two-pack is unreal, almost feels too good to be true, and even with some of the heavy hitting newcomers you’ll read about below, the Cupcake proves it doesn’t need all those bells and whistles to be delicious. I’ll champion this product until the day I kick the bucket.

Exceptional job, Hostess. I sort of expected this to taste more like the other Hostess products, cakey and who knows, maybe even filled with whipped cream. It’s not. It’s like a piece of coffee cake you might get at a coffee shop, sweet and cinnamony and topped with crunchy cinny-sugar. I’d eat one of these every morning if that wasn’t a nightmare health experiment.

I had never had a Kazbar before this, never even heard of one, but now I feel sorry for my past self. They’re terrific, and if Hostess starts dipping more toes into the world of crunch, it may become even more powerful than it already is.

With a Kazbar, we’ve got the traditional Hostess formula of cakey-creamy snack, topped with icing like the Cupcakes, but also stuffed full of crunchy pieces. This brand new textural element to a Hostess snack is welcome at my table any day. While the chocolate and chocolate-caramel varieties are extremely similar, the caramel doesn’t go overboard and provides a tasty backbone. Caramel crunchies take the win here.

Would you see my crying if they were out of Chocolate Caramel? Nope. These are 95% as good. Kazbars rule.

I’ve always liked a Zinger. It’s been a Top 3 Hostess product for me my whole life, but when it comes down to it, they’ll never be as satisfying a choice as a Cupcake or a Ho Ho. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll happily scarf down a three-pack (bonus points for that kind of a serving size) and I’ll even like it, but my mind will be elsewhere. My mind will probably be with Ho Hos.

Generally you won’t find me picking a vanilla product over a chocolate product, but I’ve always had an affinity for nilla Zings. I’ll reach for vanilla about a third of the time I’m reaching for Zingers; it’s something about that crispy vanilla icing.

It’s hard for me to conceptualize why anybody would buy a Ding Dong instead of a Cupcake. They’re more or less the same thing, just without the icing on top and in a more hockey puck-like shape. Of course this is delicious, but I’m only going for a Ding Dong if the place is out of everything else listed above here.

One bonus: Stick them in the fridge to create a faux-chocomallow.

Nothing wrong with a Twinkie. Not one thing. If Cupcakes weren’t the Hostess products you thought of first, Twinkies probably are. White a Twinkie is all fine and well, it’s just a little boring. I’m not particularly here for Hostess without chocolate.

I’ve always loved these things. They’re leagues better than the Little Debbie counterpart, though I’d be lying if I said they were better than Entennmann’s.

Orange Cupcakes are rich, but they bring creamsicle vibes that are hard to turn your nose up at. You may enjoy this for a few bites, but you’ll probably find yourself wishing that you had just grabbed something with chocolate.

Fans of Funfetti will be all over this Cupcake varietal, which brings all the flavors of a birthday-style cupcake to the land of Hostess. The sprinkles on the top are a great touch, and a nice nod in the direction of the crunchies inside the Kazbar. Birthday Cupcakes are extremely decadent, but if this is your style of dessert, then you’re not going to be disappointed at all.

For some reason, I thought these would be better. I love blueberry muffins and I love Hostess, so what gives? I think the main issue is that these guys, which come in beautiful little four-packs, taste more like blueberry-flavored cake than actual muffins. Of my four, only one of them had any “blueberries” speckled in. Some things are not meant to be mini-fied.

This is almostgood, but as you’ll learn when you hit the bottom of this ranking, coconut my nemesis. The toffee-esque flavors of the crunch in these mini donuts are outdone by those pesky coconut flakes, and everything else tanks because of it. Sorry coconut, but this is as high as you’ll get in my ranking. If you’re not a coconut hater, you’ll be into the Crunch Donettes.

Me-oh-my, these are dense. Well, they’re probably not that dense in the real world, but compared to the light, fluffy, pillowlike world of Hostess, these things are as dense as can be. They remind me of brownie bites more than cake. Step forth, all ye chocoholics. Oh, and “Chocolate Drizzle Baby Bundt” will be the name of my memoir.

The Jumbo Honey Bun has an Incredible size if you’re hungry, and the texture isn’t bad at all; it feels like a real donut. My main issue with honey buns is that I wish they were cinnamon rolls. I know this isn’t fair, but hey, life isn’t fair. If the deeply apparent lack of cinnamon doesn’t bother you as much as me, you’ll enjoy this.

When you find yourself staring down the barrel of a Hostess Strawberry Cupcake, you can’t help but wonder, “Why have you done this, Hostess? Surely nobody wants this as much as a chocolate cupcake.”

I thought that before I tasted it, I thought that after I tasted it, and I still think that now. Nobody really wants this.

I loved these as a child, but that’s probably because I wasn’t cleaning up after myself. Now that I’m the one responsible for disposing of the titular powder, this type of food is not allowed within a 15 foot radius of my home.

Flavor-wise, this is not Hostess’ finest work. They’ve bungled it here, with an overly tart and lemon forward cake beneath that powder. Skip ‘em.

I’ve never had a Hostess Danish before now, but I assume this is my last time partaking. They must be more of a breakfast item than a dessert, and hitting them with a little heat makes them taste better, but this is just too thick and heavy to get through. The pastry itself is stocky and tough. The jam inside doesn’t quite do it for me. I love most of what Hostess has going on, but I’m firmly out on the Danish.

Boy, these are thick. It’s like biting into a damn loaf of bread. This ranks lower than cherry because I hated the blueberry goop more than the cherry goop. I mean, filling.

This is about one billion percent too decadent for me. What a sweet, rich, cake bomb this is. And why is coconut involved? How did you get past the guards??

It’s a coconut-based dessert and I don’t like coconut. Not much else to say about this one, and it would have taken last place if not for the sneaky chocolate hiding inside.

Hey Hostess, you can take your title of “Zinger” for this, and throw it right in the trash. This ain’t no Zinger. I know a Zinger to be simple, and layered with icing. This is more like a beet-red Twinkie covered in coconut. I taste no raspberry, and I taste no icing. A Zinger this is not. I donated the leftovers, of course, but what I really wanted to do was punt them into the river.

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