Party Like It's 1999: Arizona Hard Beverages, Ranked

It may have taken a few decades, but Arizona has finally ventured into the world of alcoholic beverages. The nostalgic brand, known for its iconic 99-cent cans of iced tea, now has 11 different flavors of hard lemonade, juice, and iced tea to choose from. (There's also a Hard Sweet Tea that seems to be sold separately.) I bought a variety pack of each kind to try them all, and ranked them based on flavor and how well they matched the original non-alcohol version. Spoiler alert: They're all going to help you party like it's 1999 this summer. 

This is Kool-Aid for adults, and I'm totally here for it. It tastes like someone poured vodka (and not just the bottom shelf stuff!) into Arizona's Fruit Punch. Considering that's the company's best fruit juice flavor, it's perfect. This would be equally great after a hard, sweaty day of summer yard work or straight from an ice-filled cooler at a tailgate with your buddies. 

Lemon is the best variety of the three hard iced tea flavors. It's light and refreshing, and you can taste both black tea and lemon without either flavor overpowering the other. If you were a lemon iced tea Arizona girlie like I was, this grown-up version will not disappoint on nostalgia or taste. 

This is a strawberry cocktail with a whisper of lemon. It's way better than the regular and pink lemonades, and about on par with the mango lemonade. Compared to the Hard Mango Lemonade, this one's lighter and easier to drink, so if quantity is important to you (no judgment here!), choose this one over mango.

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If mango is your jam, this is the way to go instead of the Hard Mucho Mango (more on that one later). It's less syrupy and more refreshing, and something that would actually quench your thirst. It's only got a little bit of citrus tang, but I'm OK with that because it lets the mango shine more than the lemon. This is a solid choice.

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Kiwi strawberry was the epitome of '90s trendy flavors. I never really liked it back then, but this is better than what I remember. There's actual strawberry flavor here. Sure, it tastes like artificial, candy strawberries, but it's also got booze in it, so no one's going to be too picky. There's not really much discernible kiwi flavor, but I think that was also just a random pairing to water down the strawberry anyway. It's like Jolly Ranchers in a can, without the really gross half-melted candy stuck to the wrapper.

Related: Recreate Your Favorite Discontinued Snacks With These Nostalgic Recipes

Like its non-alcoholic version, this Hard Watermelon doesn't really have much watermelon flavor, if any. It's more of a generic fruit mashup that tastes slightly more tropical than the Hard Fruit Punch. There's only a hint of some kind of melon, but I'm not even mad about it. If you think of this as a tropical fruit punch, it's pretty good. 

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If peach is your thing, you'll love this hard iced tea flavor. It tastes like actual peaches, as opposed to peach-flavored candy, which is a real win. It's better than the non-boozy version of itself, so too bad, kiddos.

If just straight hard lemonade is what you're looking for, this Pink version is the way to go. It's less astringent than its yellow counterpart for some reason, and it's got a good balance of tart to sweet. Plus, you can't go wrong with a pink colored drink — them's the rules.

This hard lemonade tastes like it was made from frozen concentrate. It's a little astringent and harsh, with a bottled lemon juice flavor. Honestly, you'd be better off mixing some vodka into a pitcher of Country Time made from powdered mix. Stick with the hard pink.

I had high hopes for this one, but it's got kind of a peachy, stinky undertone that's unpleasant. It feels thick and heavy in your mouth, so it's more of a sipper and not a pounder. It's also more mango-y than the no-alcohol Mucho Mango, but that's not a good thing here. This should be more refreshing than it is.

Arizona's iconic green tea — which is fantastic with a beautiful can to match — is really sad in hard form. I've had it a few times since it debuted, and it has ranged from OK to downright terrible. It's inconsistent, which makes me wonder if the honey in it is fermenting and causing the off, malted flavors that none of the other Arizona Hard products possess. If you seek to try this one out, make sure it's a fresh can.