Absurdly Persnickety Reviews of the Times Square Margaritaville

If you’re going to a sit-down chain restaurant, you’d be wise to lower your standards at the door. This is the world we live in. The same applies to any restaurant anywhere near Times Square, the lightest, brightest, centerpiece of American tourism we’ve got.

And if you’re going to a chain restaurant in Times Square? That’s a double-whammy. Lower your standards double, maybe even triple. If you don’t, you might just end up like one of these people. Take a look at these seven wildly persnickety reviews of the late Jimmy Buffet's temple of mediocrity. 

Related: 8 Overrated Chain Restaurants That Don't Deserve Your Money

This one is on you, Marlin J. The server straight up told you the jambalaya was “nasty” but you ordered it anyway. And then, by your own words, it made you want to vomit.

Why didn’t you listen to your server, Marlin?

Related: 'Yesterday's Leftovers': 10 Things Servers Would Never Order at a Restaurant

Wenjun D. had a tough time at Margaritaville when their host “refused to offer the window tables” because there weren’t enough servers for that section. They were led to a different table, but our hero then left and vowed not to come back. Feels reasonable.

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One customer arrived on time for their reservation, and when asked to wait at the bar for their table to be made ready, immediately left and went somewhere else. The best part? Five minutes later, the restaurant “had the nerve” to say the table was ready. 

What nerve are you referring to? Isn’t your table being ready a good thing? 

Nobody sang to Angela G.’s niece on her birthday, and that was all she needed to take to the Yelpverse. No mention of the food or drink quality, but she does mention the manager gave them a free slice of cake for the inconvenience.

And she STILL gave them a 1-star review.

If you remember the sandwich from Fyre Festival, Stuart T. seems to think that was “the closest thing to whatever burger they served me at this place.” Feels like a stretch, Stuart. You telling me there was no patty on your burger?

Christy H was incredibly dissatisfied when some servers didn’t bring everybody’s drinks fast enough at her table of … 30? 30 people? You brought 30 people to the Times Square Margaritaville? And the servers only missed eight drinks? That’s a miracle as far as I’m concerned. You simply must lower your standards, Christy.

Honestly, this isn’t persnickety or high maintenance at all, but it needs to be shared with the world. According to Alonda W., “On the escalator we were greeted with a flying plate crashing down upon us. We had no clue what was going on. There were just pieces of something all over just crashing down on us and I was screaming.”

What a scene. Keep your eyes peeled when riding the escalator, folks. Check for debris from above.