Bartending is a noble craft — it takes skill to get people tipsy and happy. One of the perks of the job is being in on all the cocktail industry secrets and never having to worry about ordering the wrong drink.
According to bartenders, there are certain cocktails they’d never order for themselves, and neither should you. Here are seven cocktails that bartenders advise you to steer clear of. And they've seen things, so you better believe them.
If something screams "fratboy trying to get wasted in a second" to a bartender, it's the "Long Island Iced Tea," which — "shockingly" — doesn't include a single ounce of iced tea and is mostly made of bottom-shelf liquor and a sugary sour mix. This, according to bartenders, translates to a mean hangover and a meaner headache the next day.
Made up of gin, light rum, tequila, triple sec, vodka, and a splash of cola, this amber-hued concoction is something most people in the industry would never order themselves.
“No bartenders ever order a Long Island iced tea,” Lauren Lenihan, director of operations for Paris Café and Common Ground Bar in New York City, told Huffington Post. “It’s definitely a ‘green,’ juvenile drink of choice. Most customers just want it because it’s strong and they’re looking to get drunk quickly.”
Related: History in a Glass: Fascinating Legends Behind 20 Famous Cocktails
We get it — they look so refreshing and inviting. But cocktails with a lot of ice, like frozen daiquiris or coladas, are chock-full of sugary mixers. The excessive sweetness often masks the taste of the alcohol, making it easy to drink more than you intended.
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Bartenders across the country despise the labor-intensive New Orleanian classic, the Ramos Gin Fizz, with a passion.
Made of gin, egg white, lime, lemon, cream, orange blossom water, sugar, and soda, this foamy cocktail requires an obnoxiously long time to prepare, including at least 10 to 15 minutes of shaking the ingredients to achieve the perfect frothy texture.
It’s unlikely that it would be adequately prepared during rush hour, leaving you with a flat, raw egg, milky mess.
There’s only one place where ordering an Appletini is still suitable: the 2000s,where it should stay.
The liquid equivalent of the Backstreet Boys is made with vodka, apple liqueur or schnapps, lemon juice, and apple juice.
This cocktail, which looks like radioactive water, is something no bartender would order for themselves, mainly due to the overly sweet apple liqueur and sugary apple juice.
Mojitos are notorious for being loathed among bartenders with the heat of a thousand suns.
Made with rum, sugar, lime, mint, and club soda, they take ages to make, require fresh herbs with a short shelf life that carry bacteria, and require a lot of tools.
If you are in Cuba — the birthplace of the cocktail — or a cocktail bar specializing in mojitos, go ahead and order one. Otherwise, stick to the glass of wine.
The iconic "hair of the dog" hangover remedy is a brunch classic — but that doesn't mean you should order it at every bar at any given time of the day. If the tomato-based mix isn't fresh or stored correctly, things can get sketchy fast.
The best you might get at a crowded bar is a couple of limp olives and a droopy celery stick. At worst, you're looking at warm tomato juice paired with the trashiest vodka available.
Keep the Bloody Mary for brunch when bartenders are prepared to make them fresh.
Drinks named "Brain Hemorrhage" or "Cement Mixer" have no place outside a college dorm. These curdled shots, made with a creamy liqueur mixed with an acidic ingredient like lime or lemon juice, look gross, have a terrible texture, and can give you a notorious headache afterward.
