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Cheapism

A Princely Sam

There’s nothing like a bulk warehouse when it comes to saving money. Costco may seem like the giant of that industry, but believe it or not, Sam’s Club — the Walmart-owned warehouse chain — is the one with the most U.S. locations. Is Sam’s Club your go-to? You’re in luck. Here are things to avoid if you’re looking to save, featuring everything from potential impulse buys (such as water dispensers) to the opposite of impulse buys (such as garage doors). 


(Not a member? You can sign up here for Sam's Club.)


Prices and availability are subject to change.


Related: Surprisingly Expensive Products From Costco

Sam's Club

Avalon Water Dispenser

$400

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There is undeniable merit here — fresh, cold water whenever you need it is hard to beat (and the same goes for hot water on tap). All that is to say you can rent these things for as low as $15 a month through certain services, so if you don’t want this thing for the next two years, you might not need to go for the Avalon A13. 


Related: Costco vs. Sam's Club Food Court Showdown


Sam's Club
Sam's Club

Worx 80v Leaf Blower Backpack

$650

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You might pretend you are getting this leaf blower backpack because of the 80 volts, dual intake air valves, and variable speed control, but let’s be honest here: You’re spending $650 on this because you want to feel like an actual Ghostbuster. Don’t cross the streams.


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Sam's Club

Husky Central Vacuum

$700

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This is the absolute picture of disposable income, but Husky Flair has an “ultra-quiet” vacuum for those of us who need that sort of thing (a librarian, maybe?). This isn’t remotely cheap, but this thing reaches up to 5,000 square feet, and the idea of a 10-year warranty is pretty nice.  


Sam's Club

Canon Point-and-Shoot Camera

$750

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You can usually grab one of Canon’s Rebels for a lot less than $750, but its G7X Mark III is a whole lot easier to use, has Wi-Fi/Bluetooth capabilities, and even lets you livestream. A disposable camera might be $15, but you definitely can’t do any of that.


Sam's Club

Alen Air Purifier

$750

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Allergens, bacteria, odors, dander, dust, mold, pet fur, and aerosolized viruses be vanquished! It’s ultra-quiet, but for $750, the Alen 751 BreatheSmart Air Purifier better change your oxygen into air as pure as the morning mountaintops.


Sam's Club

De'Longhi Espresso Machine

$800

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There are probably cheaper ways to prove your dedication to the art of espresso, but this De'Longhi Magnifica fully automatic espresso and cappuccino machine makes a real statement. All the product description boasts about is basic functionality, so we’re gonna go ahead and guess you can skip this one.


Sam's Club

Portacool Evaporative Cooler

$900

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Unlike the typical air conditioner, an evaporative cooler lowers the air temperature around you by using moisture in the air. It’s great for humidity, but you can get room coolers for less than half of that, so the Portatool Cyclone might be a little bit of a stretch.


Sam's Club

Emery Leather Chair

$1,000

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You can enjoy saving $2,600 by not getting a whole sofa set, yet that still means you’re spending a full $1,000 on an armchair. It is beautiful brown leather with free home delivery and setup, but that would still be crazy … right? Right. Right?


Sam's Club

Amarr Garage Door

$1,600

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Need a garage door? ’Course you do. For a mere $1,600 you can get yourself a 16- by 18-foot set of insulated garage doors. On hinges. This thing isn’t even electric. Get a different garage door.


Sam's Club

Ove Freestanding Tub

$1,750

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Quite the jaw-dropper, eh? Seeing this as you step into your bathroom has to be stunning, and the little legs look like they might start walking around — an obvious bonus. But the question has to be asked: Where does this tub drain? For only $1,750, you can find out.


Sam's Club

Swann Camera Security Systems

$1,800

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Home security is inarguably important, but unless you are hiding an Area 51-level secret, this set of a dozen cameras might be a little excessive. That said, Swann’s system includes heat and motion sensors, remote viewing and control, 4K zoom, and the complete analytics suite.


Sam's Club

Acer Gaming Computer

$2,600

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It is objectively funny to give your computer a name such as “The Predator,” but that’s what Acer has done with this Predator Orion 5000. This gaming desktop will outperform just about everything of a lesser cost, making it a worthwhile purchase for any career in streaming.


Sam's Club

Emery Sofa Set

$3,600

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For those who didn’t think that $1,000 chair was enough: This three-piece sofa set, each piece bigger than the last, will do a lot to fill up a living room with nice leather furniture, all while leaving room for something like a coffee table between them. It will also do a lot to drain a bank account of almost $4,000 dollars, so we’re gonna need to hear some rave reviews about the comfort level before considering it.


Sam's Club

Generac 20,000-Watt Generator

$4,847

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Perhaps you’re looking to power a small music festival. Perhaps you’re caught in the middle of a power outage because of Hurricane Ian and you need something to run your fridge. Perhaps you like to go camping like Tom Haverford. These reasons for needing a generator all vary in validity, but for just under five grand you can have 20,000 watts at the ready.


Sam's Club

Samsung 75” 4K Smart TV

$6,498

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Sort of the Cadillac of Expensive Sam’s Club purchases, isn’t it? You don’t know envy until you’ve seen somebody walk back to their car with a gigantic new television set. This bad boy is designed to be mounted outdoors, so daylight won’t affect a thing.


Sam's Club

Tempur-Pedic Mattress + Base

$8,498

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While we mostly believe that your sleep life is the best investment you can make, this might be a little much. The fact that it’s bundled with an adjustable base is nice, but once you add sheets, pillows, and duvets into the mix, you’re going to be approaching 10 grand. You can sleep quite well for at least half that.


Sam's Club

Engagement Ring

$89,000

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There are a lot of ways to show somebody you care, and a 14k gold ring for 90 grand oughta do the trick. If the ole’ three-month salary thing applies to you and you can afford this, congratulations.