I’m not really sure what happened to us as a society, but it seems like proper movie theater etiquette is a thing of the past. There are some very simple rules that must be followed when you’re at a movie, and truly, they’re not that hard.
Thing number one: Shut it. Just zip your lids, y’all. It can’t possibly be that hard not to talk during a movie. Whisper at the very least. I’m blown away by how many people I can hear talking during movies these days.
Thing number two: Your phone has no business here. Don’t use it. Don’t talk on it. Don’t pull up the IMDb app and check the cast list. Just keep it in your damn pocket.
Thing number three: While I have no problem with outside snacks since theaters charge an arm and a leg, please do not bring something excessively pungent into a theater. This isn’t a restaurant. Leave your tuna melt at home, friendo. I once sat next to somebody who was eating a plate of Panda Express, and I had to sit there and smell it the whole time. It took all the restraint I had in the world not to huck their food at the screen and storm out.
At a movie theater, you are to be neither seen, nor heard, nor smelled. I beg of you, follow these rules.
Related: Rude Awakenings: Etiquette Rules No One Follows Anymore