Footie PJs and 19 Other Kitschy Items Being Made for Harry and Meghan's Wedding

Britain's royals elicit endless fascination on both sides of the pond, so the marriage of Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle has just heightened the hoopla. Even if you think lavish royal weddings are an enormous waste of money, plenty of others love the pageantry -- and want a piece of it for themselves. Of course, the internet is all too happy to oblige that thirst for commemorative swag, no matter how ridiculous. Here are 20 of the oddest royal wedding items up for sale. (Please note, prices and availability of these items subject to change as the royal wedding approaches.)

Price: $7.40 | Buy it at Target
Who doesn't want to dress like a royal? These paper dolls might be the next best thing, and they include the royal couple's engagement outfits, possible wedding attire, and even "the unicorn onesies we're sure they wear at home in their cottage." M'kaaaay.

Price: $60 | Buy it at CafePress
Speaking of embarrassing pajamas, we've found the perfect wedding-watching attire. These commemorative polyester PJs are available in cream or pink, and come complete with a hood, kangaroo pockets and removable zippered feet.

Price: $20 | Buy it at Amazon
Since we're still sad that someone else snapped up Harry before we could, this replica of Meghan Markle's engagement ring can be a blingy balm for our wounded pride. Made from cubic zirconia and 14-karat gold- and rhodium-plated brass, it "glows with a warm golden radiance, giving this ring an aura of royalty."

Price: $17 | Buy it at Biscuiteers
Okay, we admit it: These Harry and Meghan gingerbread cookies are adorable. They're even hand-piped and packaged in hand-illustrated gingerbread house gift boxes. We'll let all the cuteness distract us from the gruesome moment we bite off those royal heads.

Price: $16 | Buy it at Amazon
This set of four placemats was designed in England and includes an officially approved image of Meghan and Harry. Now we can rest easy knowing the royal couple approves of the picture we'll be spilling our coffee all over.

Price: $18.74 | Buy it at Etsy
Since our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, these personalized gold-embossed replicas are the next best thing. They come complete with a gold outer envelope and postage envelope that looks like it came straight from Buckingham Palace.

Price: $21 | Buy it at Starstills
The gang's all here! Perfect for a wedding-watching party, this set of eight masks includes all the familiar faces, including the Queen, Prince William, and Kate Middleton. (Pro tip: Whoever arrives late has to be Prince Charles or Camilla.)

Price: $5.95 | Buy it at Amazon
It's hard to figure out what a book of Sudoku puzzles has to do with the royal wedding, so we'll save you the trouble: Absolutely nothing. But in case anyone really needs the happy couple's faces on the cover of their puzzle book, well, this exists.

Price: $57.71 | Buy it at Etsy
This box of ring-shaped multigrain cereal is part of a limited-edition run. And it's hard to choose the best part: There's a bobble-head Queen Elizabeth that proclaims the cereal "royally good." There's the cut-out face masks on the back of the box. And there's the fact that half the profit goes to a charity that helps the homeless.

Price: $149 | Buy it at Etsy
These 18-inch dolls are all decked out for their wedding in handmade clothing and can be purchased with custom outfits, too. But we don't recommend staring into the Harry doll's eyes if you expect to sleep at night.

Price: $10 | Buy it at Barnes & Noble
We've got our Crayolas ready to go. This Harry and Meghan coloring book includes "beautiful and ready-to-color illustrations that capture the magic of their heartwarming love affair." If you scribble out Meghan's face in a couple of pages because you were clearly meant to be a princess instead, well, we won't tell.

Price: $8.50 | Buy it at Etsy
Want to be closer to Harry and Meghan? How about dangling their faces inches from your own? These laminate 3/4-inch earrings are sure to make a statement wherever they go. Will and Kate or Queen Elizabeth are available from the same Etsy seller.

Price: $21.95 | Buy it at Zazzle
D'awwww. This pair of heart-handled mugs nests together, symbolizing the union of the newest royal couple. For the traditionalist, check out this very, very British-looking commemorative mug instead.

Price: $35.75 | Buy it at We Built This City
Speaking of weird collectible plates, one of the more amusing royal-wedding tchotchkes is this souvenir marrying Meghan Markle off to another red-headed Brit: singer Ed Sheeran. Uhhh ... same difference, right?

Price: $27 | Buy it at Redbubble
If you're still crying over Harry's upcoming nuptials, use this pillow cover to catch your tears and boost your optimism. (Unfortunately, last time we checked, Harry's brother was very much taken, but let's keep hope alive.)

Price: $14.29 | Buy it at Crown Jewels Condoms
Straight from the self-proclaimed "world's leading supplier of heirloom prophylactics," this box of four condoms will actually play "God Save the Queen" and "The Star-Spangled Banner" when it is opened. A certificate of authenticity is included, lest anyone fear receiving counterfeit royal condoms.

Price: $35.60 | Buy it at Teddy Maximus
Don't leave your pooch out of the festivities. Teddy Maximus, a London purveyor of posh pup accessories, has released embroidered neckerchiefs in honor of the big day. Also available? Royal doggy bowties and toy cushions.

Price: $38.95 | Buy it at Amazon
These life-size cutouts have been outselling Queen Elizabeth, Mickey Mouse, Wonder Woman, Donald Trump and Darth Vader on Amazon. Made of heavy-duty cardboard, they come with an easel but can also be mounted on a wall or door to give guests an appropriately royal greeting.

Price: $27.33 | Buy it at Etsy
It's stiff competition for the most bizarre Harry and Meghan item, but these wooden spoons might take the cake (and make it, too). Pictures of our favorite royals are burned onto the spoons with a laser, ready to stir up soups, stews, and other fare for us lowly commoners.

Price: $4.25 | Buy it at Etsy
News of the royal wedding has triggered a predictable crush of souvenir plates in London souvenir shops, but here's a twist: This tiny, handmade 1-inch plate is actually for a dollhouse. Good luck finding an equally tiny plate stand.