9 Fast-Food Pies, Ranked

Dessert is an overlooked fast food category. Sure there’s soft serve and milkshakes, but pies are where it’s at — especially if we’re talking about hand pies that are still deep-fried.

In honor of pi(e) day, I went to fast food restaurants near me and ordered pies. Many were good old apple hand pies, but the ones that got creative in form and filling really stood out. Here are all the fast food pies I tried, ranked from best to worst on criteria like crust texture, filling flavor, and very subjective delightfulness.

Jolibee’s peach mango pie has a cult following, and now I know why. It’s so good that I wish I lived closer than an hour away from the nearest outlet of this Philippines-based chain. 

The filling is tart and full of big, chunky peach and mango pieces. For a dessert, it’s only just sweet enough, which is a rarity in fast food. Plus, it’s deep fried, so the crust is full of tiny, crispy bubbles. This tropical vibes pie is light years above the others.

The strawberry cream cheese pie is seasonal at Popeyes, but it’s better than the chain’s regular offering, cinnamon apple. The tangy and thick cream cheese filling tempered the sweetness of the jam-like strawberry goo, making it a great pairing. Plus, Popeyes is really the king of deep fried pie crusts: it’s light, flaky, and pock marked with teeny, blistered bubbles.

Burger King is the only chain on this list offering an actual slice of pie. It feels like a relic, like something you remember from childhood and are surprised it still exists. But it’s still really tasty, because how can a chilled, french silk-like slice of pie be bad? If you want something cool, refreshing, chocolatey, or nostalgic, this is the fast food pie for you. 

Pro tip: You’ll get the slice frozen, so let it defrost for at least a few minutes for maximum creaminess.

Popeyes makes the best fast food apple hand pie for two reasons: it’s deep fried, and it’s coated in cinnamon sugar. The crust and cinnamon-forward flavor are its two best attributes by far. The filling is a little bland, but hey, at least it’s hot and surrounded by a sugar-coated, crackly crust. If you normally put lots of spices in your apple desserts, this is the pie for you.

If you’re not familiar with ube, it’s a purple yam that tastes like a cross between vanilla, pistachio, and sweet potato. Jolibee offers it in pie form occasionally, and it’s pretty unique. The color is striking if you’re not used to it, so it’s pretty dang delightful on that alone. The deep fried crust holds a generous amount of thick, lava-like filling (seriously, don’t burn yourself!) that’s deeply buttery but only has a minimal amount of sweetness. It’s interesting, but it almost borders on savory compared to the other pies in this taste test. It’d be great for breakfast.

McDonald’s used to fry their apple pies, and they were so much better than they are now (they still fry them in Hawaii, though!). The apple filling is by far the best part, with large chunks that still have texture and a tart flavor that actually tastes like apples. But the crust is so lifeless and soggy that it makes the whole thing overall unpleasant, like a two-day-old office break room danish. At least it’s served hot.

A turnover has all the same components as a hand pie, so it seemed right to include the Arby’s turnovers in this taste test. The cherry was the better of the two since the filling tasted like it was made with tart cherries and not that sickly sweet canned red pie filling. I appreciated that this was the only cherry offering available, but it was also dry, crumbly, and served at room temperature.

Arby’s apple turnover is the same as the cherry, except with a much more lackluster filling. There’s too much dough, but at least the pastry is flaky, if a little dried out. I wish these were served warm, but as they are, Arby’s turnovers are mediocre.

Who knew Panda Express had an apple pie roll? It’s like a long, thin eggroll that’s filled with apples and rolled in cinnamon sugar. That sounds great, but the reality was that the inner layers of eggroll wrapper were not cooked, so it was doughy and chewy. Except for the cinnamon sugar, there wasn’t much flavor to speak of, either. Stick with the savory spring rolls.

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