Let the fish puns commence! In Michigan, a customer at a grocery store became so furious he could not buy fish (the fish counter had closed 13 minutes earlier), he smacked an employee in the head with a 4-pound frozen fish. Needless to say, there were consequences. And puns, just for the halibut.
The Macomb County prosecutor's office issued a release stating that "Warren Police hooked and netted a suspect in connection with an altercation at a local fish counter." That suspect, MD Jobul Hussain, was arraigned and given a $5,000 bond, but the fish jokes were, apparently, free. He was accused of aggravated assault, which comes with a one-year misdemeanor sentence if convicted.
Allegedly, Hussain had a full-on Karen moment at the Desi Fruit Market when he found the fish counter closed. When a worker explained the counter had closed early for the Ramadan holiday 13 minutes earlier, Hussain argued, then smacked the worker with a 4-pound frozen hilsa fish.
“I never thought I’d have to say this, but if you assault someone with a fish in our county you will be prosecuted. A frozen fish is dangerous if you use it to hit someone on the head,” said Macomb County Prosecutor Peter J. Lucido.
If you're wondering, hilsa is a kind of herring that is the national fish of Bangladesh. And a pretty decent weapon, apparently. The victim of the abuse was taken to the hospital, probably with one hell of a headache.