The kids are gone, and the house is finally your own. And while there are plenty of mistakes you'll want to avoid as empty nesters such as blowing your retirement savings on a spending spree or immediately remodeling a now-vacant room, maybe it is time to let things slide a bit now that you've reached this milestone and (gasp) have some fun. Here is a list, sometimes playful, sometimes serious, of things you can now do however – and whenever – you like.
With less people living in the house, there will naturally be less of a mess. You don't have to clean the floor seemingly after every meal — or make bed after bed (or nag endlessly to get it done by the people who messed up the covers). The end result should be a cleaner house with less work exerted.
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No matter when you'd come in the kitchen, there seemed to be dirty dishes on the table, sink or counter. Now you may have to wait a few days to load the dishwasher — and that's fine. You can also forget those loads of wash dedicated to grass-stained baseball pants or damp-and-stinky swim-team uniforms — or worse, mixed in with more delicate clothing. These days, the wash you do will be just your own, which should really cut down on the resentment, too.
Expect expenses to go down, from electricity to water to groceries to health insurance. Maybe you're not ready to cut the kids off completely just yet, but now is a good time to encourage them to gain more financial independence — and you deserve the little extra in the wallet for what you need – or simply want. Enjoy the extra cash, but don't forget to set aside enough for when higher health care expenses associated with aging kick in.
If you're starting to realize the house really is too big, you can start to downsize and attack the attic and basement with abandon. You don't have to keep everything your kids left behind — ask them if you're unsure — but you can make a big dent in things that haven't been used in years. Storage containers are on the list of great gifts for empty nesters on the blog Empty Nest: Doin' Middle Age Like A Boss.
You can finally have your interior in the style you've always wanted. Fill it with delicate antiques or create a '60s era cocktail lounge — just remember to keep an eye on the budget and don't go overboard with purchases or remodeling. Scour the internet for inspiration, like this empty nest bedroom redo.
Hungry teens, both boys and girls, have been known to raid the refrigerator after school. These days, you only need to stock up if you want to do it — if you buy some cold cuts on Sunday, you can be pretty sure they'll still be there for lunch on Tuesday. Also, no one will swipe your fancy cheese.
If preparing the family dinner was drudgery, you can throw that tradition out the window. Order in as much as you like – or dine out often. Splurge on the fancy restaurant you've always had on your dining bucket list, since the bill for a table for two is much easier to stomach than soup-to-nuts for six. Want to eat in instead? Now is the time to pull out all the stops in the kitchen. Make that complicated recipe that takes all day or includes flavors your picky little eater simply wouldn't touch (Brussels sprouts or curry?).
Gone will be the days of getting into the car to head to the grocery store and realizing you probably don't have enough gas to get there (or, if you drive an electric car, finding out no one plugged in the car) because the kids took the car to the mall (and who knows where else) last night. Now, you'll be the one keeping an eye on the fuel gauge, so if you hover at empty, no one else is to blame.
If the forecast is showing an unexpectedly warm weekend, you can hit the beach or the lake at the drop of a hat — and you don't have to schedule your trip during spring break unless you want to do so. Call and rent a room, and take off when you can. It's much easier to coordinate a getaway when it's just for one or two — and you might even be able to score a senior discount. Need inspiration? Check out the suggestions of James and Nancy O'Leary on their Life of the Empty Nesters blog.
No more crazed mornings getting everyone off to the bus. If you're a night owl (or have insomnia) this is the perfect time to indulge your affinity for going to bed long after the sun has set. If morning's more your thing, then you can get up as early as you want and not worry about waking up "the whole house." You can eat (or not), exercise (or not), watch the morning news or read the paper – there's no watching the clock or listening for those first steps on the stairs.
Once the kids leave, there will be no one barreling down the stairs, slamming the door, or yelling, "Not sure when I'll be back." Read in peace and catch up on the books you've never had the time to finish. Any noise is your own — so own it. Writer Sharon Greenthal, who explores communication on her empty-nest themed blog, has an interesting take on the quiet. If it gets too quiet? Pick up the phone or say hi to the UPS guy.
Did you always feel you had to get up at 5 a.m. to get your jog in before the kids' frantic schedule started? Or perhaps you prefer to exercise in the evening but felt bad leaving the kids, even though your spouse was home? Now, you can take a class, hire a trainer, walk the neighborhood — or simply meditate whenever it feels best for your schedule. Don't forget how important it is to stay fit as you get older.
Draw a bubble bath and sink into the warm water — and know you can stay there as long as you want. No more "Mom, where's my headband?" or "Can you sign this permission slip?" Nope, it's just you, your daydreams, and maybe a glass of sparkling wine.
Now is the time to catch up on every show you missed because of car-pool duty, basketball games or first-fight-with-boyfriend drama. Think "Game of Thrones," "Grace and Frankie," "The Handmaid's Tale," and maybe even "Parenthood." Now, all can be enjoyed, episode after episode after episode.
Now is the time to take up that hobby you've always wanted to try. Explore watercolors or collage, yoga or knitting, woodworking or brewing beer. You can set your own pace and feel free to leave any project half done, in place, until the urge hits you to resume your study. No one will throw it off the table to do their homework.
Want to ditch the minivan the minute you drop your youngest at college? Well, maybe that's not the smartest idea – but perhaps you can switch things up and turn the second car in for a sleek, new two-seater to signify your newfound freedom. Want to save? There are still ways to get behind the wheel of your fantasy ride without actually buying it.
If you're still doing the 9-to-5 thing, you know that sometimes the work day turns into 9-to-7 or later. Now, you don't have to disappoint the kids by missing dinner or breaking that promise to take them for ice cream. Just remember to give your spouse the courtesy call (text or email?) to say you'll be late. Still, don't work too late for your own physical and mental well-being.
Related: 18 Things You Should Do if You Want to Retire Early
Invite some friends over and have a late-night bash. You won't have to keep it down. You might not rage until 3 a.m. (college days are long over) but you can let the party wind down when it naturally will, not by any curfew. Want to rock out with less effort? Now is the time to sing out loud, whether it's to Elvis Presley or Elvis Costello. Let it rip, off-key or not.
You and the spouse have the house to yourself, so enjoy it – and each other. Indulge in intimate moments whenever and as often as you like — just make sure the shades are down.
If your kids are embarrassed by your zebra print pants or, gasp, your Rod Stewart T-shirt, who cares? You can wear whatever you like. Or maybe you've been wanting to refresh your style and update your wardrobe — without the judgmental comments and looks from the kids. Now's the time to step up your fashion game.
Perhaps you spend a weekend framing and hanging some family photos, all the while taking that proverbial trip down memory lane. You'll not only realize that many of the trying moment of raising kids are gone — but, if you're lucky, you have a wonderful bank of memories that will last for the rest of your life.
