The Dumbest Things Celebs Want to Sell You For the Holidays
Cheapism

The Dumbest Things Celebs Want to Sell You For the Holidays

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The Dumbest Things Celebs Want to Sell You For the Holidays
Cheapism

Famously Bad Celeb Products

Leading up to the holiday season, everyone is buried in advertisements and messages plugging things to buy. To make their ads cut through the overflow, brands are willing to pay celebrities big time to shill their stuff (and some celebrities have their own stuff to sell, thankyouverymuch) — and not all of it is worth the money. Here are some of the worst gifts celebrities are willing to endorse — but aren’t worth your money.


Related: Gifts No One Wants to Get This Holiday Season

Gifts No One Wants to Get This Holiday Season
Cravings

Gifts No One Wants to Get This Holiday Season

Celebrity: Chrissy Teigen


A 500-piece puzzle isn’t a bad idea for an easy stocking stuffer — but you can decide among a variety of fun patterns for $15 at Target. Teigen's junk-food design isn’t worth the extra money, even if it does come with “tools and glue” to preserve it after you’ve put it together. We’re guessing shoving it into a drawer is really the better decision.


Related: Celebrities With Brands That Cater to the Common Folks


Sweatshirt Dress | $425
Goop

Sweatshirt Dress | $425

Celebrity | Gwyneth Paltrow


Paltrow’s Goop business yet again makes something that looks ho-hum incredibly expensive. To wit: the Sweatshirt Dress. A somewhat schlubby item that can be bought in a multitude of colors on Amazon for $30 is, in Goop’s hands, a luxury item. While the Goop version is mostly cotton and made in Italy, whether that’s worth $425 is up to you.


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Wooden Platter | $390
Provence Platters

Wooden Platter | $390

Celebrity: Nicole Miller


The fashion designer has said that she plans to hand out this recycled wood platter as a gift this year “along with a bottle of my rosé to make hosting this holiday a little easier.” Sure, some people will think she picked up this Brooklyn-made cheese platter at a thrift store, but maybe that will make it easier to shove it in the back of the cabinet where random gifts you don’t ever use tend to go. Success!


Related: Gifts Under $25 for Food Lovers


Dare to Roam Prodigy Backpack | $98
Amazon
Guy Fieri Christmas Mug | $15
Guy Fieri Store

Guy Fieri Christmas Mug | $15

CelebrityGuy Fieri


Love “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives”? Know someone who wants to take a one-way trip to Flavortown? Then they might like this cheap-looking ceramic mug with a creepy photo of the celebrity chef wearing a Santa hat. Sure, they might think you spent $3 at the gas station to get it, but you can be comforted knowing you shelled out $15 for this hunk of junk.


Related: Heartfelt and Hilarious Personalized Gifts for Everyone on Your List


Bubble Gum Gym | $36,400
Circu
LED Smart Rope | $80
Poosh

LED Smart Rope | $80

Celebrity: Kim Kardashian West


Well, this is nifty — a jump rope that counts your jumps and calories burned! It would seem like a great gift if jump ropes with the same ability run under $15 on Amazon. Of course, this rope has some upgrades, such as ball bearings and a micro-USB charging cable, but we suspect the plug by Kardashian West is what really hits your pocketbook if you buy this one.


Related: Gifts for Women Who Love to Work Out


Philips Pasta and Noodle Maker | $250
Amazon

Philips Pasta and Noodle Maker | $250

Celebrity: Oprah Winfrey


Many people could be forgiven for thinking a pasta maker is a good investment. They would be dead wrong. Yeah, it’s all fun until you realize this adds to the time you need to make dinner (you still have to boil the stuff), plus you can buy most bags of pasta for less than a dollar.


This Smells Like My Orgasm Candle | $75
Goop

This Smells Like My Orgasm Candle | $75

Celebrity: Gwyneth Paltrow


Do we have to explain why we do not want to smell this? Ever? Or give it to someone we actually like? And let’s face it — $75 is a bit far to go for a joke.


Related: Fun and Hilarious Gag Gifts for Pranksters

What Would Dolly Do? Sweatshirt | $74
Draper James
Pom Pom Hat | $110
Victoria Beckham

Pom Pom Hat | $110

Celebrity: Victoria Beckham


We can’t slag Posh Spice, who has become a legitimate designer in the high-end fashion world — but we aren’t big fans of this hat. Sure, it’s made of 100% wool for maximum itchiness, but you can get a pom pom hat that’s just as cute (and with a lining) for $30 at L.L. Bean. It may lack the “subtle ’90s aesthetic,” but we suspect it’s a better investment.


Bow | $90
Goop

Bow | $90

Celebrity: Gwyneth Paltrow


We get it. You’re the gift, so you use the red silk bow’s hook-and-eye closures to attach this to your garter or panties. But we’re betting you could use a stick-on bow that comes in a bag of 10 that rings up for less than two bucks each and get the same effect. 

DJx Fera Muffler Headband | $80
Draper James

DJx Fera Muffler Headband | $80

Celebrity: Reese Witherspoon


We are not sure what universe you’d have to live in to think shelling out $80 for a polyester headband is a good idea, but we don’t live there. Get a two-pack of headbands (complete with twist) for $11 at Walmart instead. 

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Poosh

15 lb. Weighted Blanket | $179

Celebrity: Kendall Jenner

Weighted blankets have been a trend for years now, so it’s a pretty good guess that anyone who wants one has gotten one — and likely for less than $179. Want a 15 lb. weighted blanket that also has glass beads? This one at Target is just $25. Sure, you won’t be able to say it’s the same one that Kendall Jenner likes, but we’re not 100% convinced she really uses it anyway.


Henry Face Mask 4-pack | $50
Amazon
The Hug Coat | $1,995
Goop

The Hug Coat | $1,995

Celebrity: Sia


Want to look like you’re wearing a blanket in public? Then this is the very, very expensive look for you, as designed by the singer Sia — and it really is based on a blanket she once loved. While it’s not flattering, apparently some people think it’s worth every penny — it’s currently sold out, though you can get on the waitlist if you’re so inclined. 


Related: The Best Cold-Weather Gear on Amazon


Rainbow Mat | $1,299
Goop

Rainbow Mat | $1,299

Celebrity: Gwyneth Paltrow


Ah, Goop, our reliable source for stuff no one really needs. This meditation mat is filled with seven types of gemstones — amethyst, sodalite, blue lace agate, green aventurine, yellow aventurine, carnelian, and red jasper. Besides looking pretty, the stones heat up to create a hot stone surface to ease tension, which might be high because of your massive credit card bill from buying stuff like this. Really need to get the kinks out? This acupressure mat will set you back less than $20.

ghd Curling Iron | $199
Target

ghd Curling Iron | $199

Celebrity: Jessica Alba


Amazon asks celebrities each year to share a shoppable Christmas list with users, and this year Honest Company founder and sometime actress Alba contributed her must-haves. While most of her choices were well within the range of attainable, mixed in with her array of soy candles and silk camisoles was this head-scratcher. Unless this curling iron actually curls your hair for you and gets you a cappuccino, pretty sure most people will happily make do with one that’s under $30, thankyouverymuch.


Related: The Best Beauty-Tech Gifts for Every Budget