TMTM

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

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Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

Forget Fahrenheit

If you haven’t yet heard of Celsius — the zero-sugar energy drink that’s picked up a whole lot of steam amongst college students across the country — you may be living under a rock. But guess what? You and I are roommates. We share a two-bedroom rock basement together. 


I, too, had never heard of it before, but based on the shockingly high Amazon rating (a 4.7, based on nearly 100,000 Celsius drink reviews), it seems like something worth knowing about.


Made without high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, or preservatives, Celsius fancies itself a healthier option than Red Bull or Monster. The amount of text written across the can is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of a Harry Potter novel, but that didn’t stop me. 


I tried 13 Celsius energy drink flavors and ranked them based on my own personal taste. Here's your guide to the best Celsius flavors.


Select samples were provided by Celsius. Prices and availability are subject to change.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

Best: Fantasy Vibe Celsius (Sparkling Mandarin Marshmallow)

$2.39 from Target

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Look at all those words, all together on the can like that. Not sure I’ve ever seen such a collection of words in this wonderful English language of ours. No matter; I dove in there. 


What doesn’t make sense in words makes a lot more sense in flavor, as this is basically an orange creamsicle. Of all the Celsius drink flavors, I would have expected to despise this the most. But I truly didn’t. 


Dare I say it’s even refreshing? The artificial taste actually serves the contents here. A creamsicle isn’t something found in nature, like a peach or an … oasis vibe, so this all really works out well. It’s like a less sweet soda. I’ll grab one of these again.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

2. Sparkling Watermelon Celsius

$2.39 from Target

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As one of Celsius’ most popular flavors, I figured watermelon was a good place to start. There are a lot of things that happen at once inside of your mouth when you taste a Celsius, but one thing's for certain: This isn’t even close to the nastiest of most other energy drinks. 


There’s a lack of the taurine sting that you taste in alternatives, and that’s very lovely. Really not bad at all.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

3. Raspberry Acai Green Tea Celsius

$2.19 from Target

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This is the only flavor that I tasted in Celsius’ green tea line, but I’m a fan. Like most of the other flavors, the artificial taste is pretty mild and the berry flavor works well with the green tea flavor. I can’t really taste the acai, but perhaps I can and just don’t know what acai tastes like.


Either way, this combo is tried and true for a reason; I’d grab this again.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

4. Sparkling Orange Celsius

$2.39 from Target

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I suppose that sparkling orange Celsius is inoffensive enough. The orange flavor doesn’t really taste like much at all. When it comes to Celsius vs. Red Bull, this drink has significantly less sugar and artificial ingredients, so you might lean this direction for health reasons.


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Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

5. Oasis Vibe Celsius (Sparkling Prickly Pear Lime)

$2.39 from Target

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There’s something I need to mention about Celsius, but I have no idea where to put it. So I’ll put it here: The decibel level when you snap one of these things open has to be similar to that of a jet engine taking off. Each time I opened a can, I felt like I needed to check my body for bullet holes. My word.


You haven’t come here to read about the sound the can makes when it opens. You’ve come here for a review of the new Celsius flavors. The Oasis Vibe flavor is OK. Very tangy and bright. Unfortunately, these flavors make me crave margaritas, and I’m afraid I might end up with a Four Loko on my hands if I’m not careful.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

6. Tropical Vibe Celsius (Sparkling Star Fruit Pineapple)

$2.39 from Target

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Is this a prank? This has to be a prank. I’m being pranked. Ashton? George and Gil? For some reason, there’s only one thing I can taste when I drink this. It’s not pineapple and it’s not star fruit. It’s… cannabis. 


Am I being fooled by the tropical imagery? All those pineapples and green leaves are sending signals. Please, go try this and let me know if I’m crazy.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

7. Sparkling Fuji Apple Pear Celsius

$2.39 from Target

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I love Fuji apples. They do not taste like this drink. I think if they did, I would not like Fuji apples very much. This variety of Celsius is vaguely reminiscent of an apple, almost like you had a dream about what an apple tastes like and were trying to describe it to somebody. 


Apparently, there’s pear in here too. I can’t taste that. I just taste a faded dream.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

8. Peach Vibe Celsius (Sparkling White Peach)

$2.39 from Target

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This is a little on the sweet side, but it’s not that different from a Haribo peach gummy ring. I’ve been staring at these ingredients like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, but I’ve been unable to piece the puzzle together. 


If these don’t have aspartame, or any sugar, what makes Celsius sweet? Who knows.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

9. Sparkling Strawberry Lemonade Celsius

$2.39 from Target

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This tastes exactly like you’d expect. That is to say, it tastes like sparkling strawberry lemonade with a bunch of taurine mixed in. I’ve never really understood strawberry lemonade, personally. 


Lemonade is a tasty treat on a hot summer day, but lighting it up with a bunch of extra sweetness sends it over the edge of what I enjoy, 100% of the time. What happened to good, old fashioned lemonade lemonade?

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

10. Arctic Vibe Celsius (Sparkling Frozen Berry)

$2.39 from Target

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This one never stood a chance with me. I can’t recall a time I’ve ever loved “the blue one.” Be it candy, drinks, or even that group of bald men, I’m not a fan. 


You ready for a huge twist? It’s green. The color of this drink is green. Or maybe that’s just the tint I’m seeing the entire world in, now that I’ve consumed 13 flavors of Celsius. Perhaps, at long last, I am the Hulk now.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

11. Sparkling Mango Passion Fruit Celsius

$2.39 from Target

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There’s just something funky and swamp-like about mango-flavored beverages. They almost never land with me and that’s a real shame, because I love actual mangoes. 


As for the passion fruit, I don’t know. It’s just all swamp in there, as far as the eye can see. I’d struggle to get through a whole can of this Celsius flavor.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

12. Sparkling Grape Rush Celsius

Available on Instacart

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Where did grape flavor go so wrong? This evokes memories (read: nightmares) of purple Kool-Aid and Flintstones vitamins, two flavors I have spent most of my adult life trying to avoid. I know people like this flavor, but it boggles my mind as to why.

Wilder Shaw / Cheapism

13. Sparkling Wild Berry Celsius

$2.19 from Target

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Do you ever find yourself with a movie quote in your head, but you can’t remember what movie it’s from? Or maybe one bar of a song but you don’t know the words? That’s what drinking wild berry Celsius is like. There’s an incredibly familiar flavor here but I cannot put my damn finger on it. 


It’s not wild berries, that’s for sure. It’s rich, deep, and almost sweet. Like an old boot that’s been left in a basket of fruit in a basement for 10 years. Does that sound like it’s for you? ‘Cause it’s not for me.

Celsius

Flavors I Couldn't Score

There are boatloads of Celsius Flavors, and I couldn't get my hands on all of them. Here are some others that may or may not be worth trying.


  • Sparkling Cosmic Vibe
  • Sparkling Green Apple Cherry
  • Sparkling Lemon Lime
  • Sparkling Strawberry Guava
  • Sparkling Kiwi Guava
  • Sparkling Cola
  • Peach Mango Green Tea