Is Celsius Energy Drink a Good Zero-Sugar Alternative to Red Bull? I Tasted 5 Flavors To Find Out

If you haven’t yet heard of Celsius — the zero-sugar energy drink that’s picked up a whole lot of steam amongst college students across the country — you may be living under a rock. But guess what? You and I are roommates. We share a two-bedroom rock basement together. I, too, had never heard of this product before, but based on the shockingly high Amazon rating (a 4.7, based on nearly 100,000 reviews), it seems like something worth knowing about.

Made without high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, or preservatives, Celsius fancies itself a healthier option than Red Bull or Monster. The amount of text written across the can is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of a Harry Potter novel, but that didn’t stop me. I tasted five Celsius energy drink flavors — here’s what happened.

Samples were provided by Celsius. Prices and availability are subject to change.

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Look at all those words, all together on the can like that. Not sure I’ve ever seen such a collection of words in this wonderful English language of ours. No matter; I dove in there. What doesn’t make sense in words makes a lot more sense in flavor, as this is basically an orange creamsicle. Of all the flavors, I would have expected to despise this the most, but I truly didn’t. 

Dare I say it’s even refreshing? The artificial taste actually serves the contents here — a creamsicle isn’t something found in nature, like a peach or an … oasis vibe, so this all really works out well. It’s like a less sweet soda. I’ll grab one of these again.

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As one of Celsius’ most popular flavors, I figured Watermelon was a good place to start. There are a lot of things that happen at once inside of your mouth when you taste a Celsius, but one thing's for certain: This isn’t even close to the nastiest of most other energy drinks. There’s a lack of the taurine sting that you taste in alternatives, and that’s very lovely. Really not bad at all.

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There’s something I need to mention about Celsius, but I have no idea where to put it. So I’ll put it here: The decibel level when you snap one of these things open has to be similar to that of a jet engine taking off. Each time I opened a can, I felt like I needed to check my body for bullet holes. My word.

You haven’t come here to read about the sound the can makes when it opens. You’ve come here for a review: OV is OK, very tangy and bright. Unfortunately, these flavors make me crave margaritas, and I’m afraid I might end up with a Four Loko on my hands if I’m not careful.

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This is a little on the sweet side, but it’s not that different from a peach gummy ring. I’ve been staring at these ingredients like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, but I’ve been unable to piece the puzzle together. If these don’t have aspartame, or any sugar, what makes them sweet? Who knows.

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This one never stood a chance with me. I can’t recall a time I’ve ever loved “the blue one.” Be it candy, drinks, or even that group of bald men, I’m not a fan. You ready for a huge twist? It’s green. The color of this drink is green. Or maybe that’s just the tint I’m seeing the entire world in, now that I’ve consumed all this energy. Perhaps I am the Hulk now.