Wilder Shaw / Cheapism
Ever find yourself frozen in a moment of drive-thru panic? That can happen — especially at Hardee's, where the burgers range from very-similar-to-one-another all the way to only-a-lunatic-would-eat-this territory.
Hardee's is jaw-droppingly expensive for a fast-food joint, so which burger should you choose? The answer is probably none. But if you're already there, here's what I found out when I tried all seven burgers.
$7.29
Hardee's Bacon Cheeseburger isn't bad, but I'm sad to say that's the best review I've got. It's almost very special, because the bacon is incredibly crunchy, and for a moment, it tastes like something you'd get from a diner. But in an instant, you realize that the bacon is bland. No, very bland. No, extremely bland, to the point where even tasting it alone yields almost no flavor. You came so far with the texture, Hardee's, why stop there?
$6.29
I’m not sure if the special sauce tastes the same as ketchup or if my store messed up, but in this instance, I can't decipher the difference. I'm pretty sure I got ketchup. Either way, this too isn't bad. The Famous Star is pretty under control, with lettuce that actually fits on the bun and sauce that stays put.
$6.89
If Hardee's is coming for my sweet, sweet Jack in the Box, he can try again. There can only be one sourdough fast-food king, and his name is Jack. However, it’s hard not to get lost in the classic harmony of bacon, mayo, tomato, and white bread. Add a burger patty in there, and it’s fine by me.
Oh, and by the way. Hardee's, for your own sake, don't let any actual Bay Area locals catch wind of the fact that you're calling this a "Frisco" burger. Real San Franciscans would die before they called their city "Frisco." ("San Fran" is out, too.)
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$4.29
This is pretty basic, but I find nothing seriously wrong with it. It's kind of like eating three of those tiny McDonald's cheeseburgers, but the thick patty Hardee's is serving on this is a bit exhausting. This is the last bastion of sanity before Hardee's loses its mind on explosive savory flavors.
Related: 8 Mouthwatering Fast-Food Biscuits
$7.99
The first bite of this burger is pretty special. Buttery mushrooms are one of the purest forms of umami, and with the way the Swiss and mayo blend together, one bite is pure, savory decadence. But that’s really all I can muster, is that one bite. I’d need to take a six hour nap if I ate the entire thing. Some sort of acid to cut through the richness of this burger would go a long way. How about a little bit of balsamic?
Related: Every Wendy's Burger, Ranked
$10.39
This thing is a full 10 American dollars. That’s a lot for an a la carte fast-food burger, and while it’s inarguably very filling, it’s just a couple of patties and some bacon. It's also the only burger on the menu that doesn't have the word "burger" in it. It's just: Monster. Love that.
This burger is as heavy as food can possibly get. You're better off with the bacon cheeseburger for three bucks less.
Related: I Tried Every McDonald’s Burger, and This Was the Absolute Best
$7.79
A patty topped with ribeye is simply not my thing. I don't really understand who would want this, and that's coming from a California boy who was raised around pastrami burgers. If you want a cheesesteak, get a cheesesteak; don't settle for this gargantuan mess of steak, American AND Swiss cheese, peppers, and about a gallon of mayo. That's a toughie.
