Cultivating kindness and compassion seems like an ever-growing need, and giving compliments can actually help you feel better and happier about yourself. What's more, giving a compliment costs absolutely nothing. It's not a one-size-fits-all proposition, though, and different people in your life need different kinds of compliments. From clients and colleagues at work to your teenage children and extended family, there are many simple ways to give genuine affirmations.
Compliment their mobility, at whatever level. Acknowledging and encouraging their own efforts to be healthy and strong is a productive way to make them feel good about themselves.
Giving a compliment to a young child on their choices -- such as their choice of food, a color, or even their choice of words -- is a way to boost confidence. Superficial compliments -- regarding clothes or appearances -- might inflate their egos, which tend to be big enough as is.
Teens are notoriously hard to compliment, as they are stuck in the turbulence of adolescence. A positive note about their efforts and actions, such as being nice to others or taking their schoolwork seriously, is likely to boost their sense of self-worth.
Young adults often take themselves too seriously, forgetting that they are indeed young. Pay them a compliment that focuses on their childlike spirit or encourages them to let loose and have fun, for example: "You have such a fun, spirited laugh," or "I love the way you sing karaoke."
Parents have a complex view of their children, at once seeing all the good and the bad. The most important way to compliment your children is genuinely praising them for something that really does make them the unique person they are.
Parents are special figures in most people's lives, and too often are not praised for their massive efforts. As long as it's genuine, complimenting an attribute of their parenting style is a lovely gesture of kindness. Examples might be: "The way you taught me to manage money has really helped me in life," or "I love your cooking."
Even siblings who get along well have a tinge of competition between them, which is only natural. Make your sibling feel great by paying them a compliment that acknowledges something they do really well, for example: "Your holiday gifts were really great this year," or "The vacation you planned was a dream."
Oftentimes extended family is visited only a few times throughout the year, or maybe just once every few years. A nice compliment to give is a mention of how much you appreciate them making the time to see you, whether as hosts or guests.
Old friends are very special and worth keeping close in your life. Compliments that bring up the nostalgic past keep the bond alive and healthy, reminding both of you why you became friends in the first place and why the relationship has endured.
New friends can be tricky to compliment, just like a new romantic partner; the goal is not to sound too enthusiastic, but instead genuinely enthusiastic. Something that lets them know you admire them is a way to strengthen a bond, perhaps along the lines of: "The way you balance work and personal life is inspiring," or "I admire how much time you spend with your family."
In an effort to have a respectful and even fun working environment, it's good to let your colleagues know you appreciate them. Keep compliments confined to work-related topics, ranging from the work they do to how clean and neat they keep their desks.
Giving compliments to a boss is a delicate move as it's important not to sound like a suck-up. Opt for something meaningful and work-related, rather than superficial. For example: "The happy hour you put together really boosted morale," rather than "What a great suit!"
It's equally important, if not more so, to compliment your team when you are the boss. Complimenting people individually for work they did always comes off as more sincere, and like any work-related compliments, keep it to the professional realm.
Offering kind words to strangers is a quick way to boost your own mood and the mood of someone else, a true win-win. Since you don't have an in-depth knowledge of the person, compliment them on something you can see, like an act of kindness they just did, or an item of clothing they have on that you particularly like.
Your life partner, the one who stands by your side through good and bad, is most deserving of compliments on a regular basis. Look for little things that might regularly be taken for granted, such as, "You are so thoughtful to always put the toilet seat down," or "I love that you always take the time to make yourself look good before we go out."
Compliments aren't just for people you like. In fact, it might be most beneficial to compliment those you actively dislike. Find things that you genuinely like about the person, even if it's the only thing. For example, maybe you really like the person's hair style, or their ability to always choose the best wine on the list.
Most people can tell when someone doesn't like them, and offering false or superficial compliments will actually make the situation more tense. Offering a genuine compliment that acknowledges something they do well will foster a respectful relationship, if nothing else. Look for things that really make the person shine, for example their tenacity at work, or their cupcake-making skills.
These days, people have no problem being overly critical of themselves, while often ignoring many positive attributes. Compliment yourself on things you do well, from making a delicious breakfast to finding the time to do something special for friends and family. Self-praise is important.
