The Best (and Worst) Store-Bought Coffee Creamers

There's no shame in adding cream and sugar to your coffee. But if you want to sweeten your morning up a little bit with coffee creamer, which direction do you go in? Do you blast off into sweetness or opt for a more understated vibe? In order to find the best coffee creamer out there, I tasted nine different options. Here are some grocery store favorites — and ones you should leave on the shelf.

Prices and availability are subject to change.

Related: The Secret History of How Coffee Took Over the World

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I did not expect to hand this guy the trophy. I am a cow milk fan, but almond milk actually shines with coffee. The flavors work well together, in fact, and are earthy and complimentary. 

Related: Coffee? Yep, There's a Subscription for That

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The minute I taste that nippy winter air, the craving finds me. Peppermint mochas are such a wholesome mark of seasonal change that no matter how sweet they get, they stay irresistible. Why the Grinch is involved with this creamer is a mystery to me — peppermint mocha feels decidedly like something he would hate.

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To wake up in the morning and pour yourself a coffee sweetened with Starbucks Caramel Macchiato is quite a move. I can see this being something you might bust out on Christmas morning or another special occasion, but nobody needs this on hand in their fridge. You pour a little splash, it barely changes the flavor. You pour one more little splash, and maybe there's a slight change. You pour a third splash and — uh oh — all of a sudden you're being dragged down to the depths of the Caramel Macchiato sea.

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Remember Dunkaroos? This tastes like them. What's most nuts to me is that these things come in quarts. Who could possibly use that much creamer before the expiration date? How much are you dumping into your coffee? As for the fact that this is made out of oats, it's probably a good thing that you can't tell. All you can think about is that sweet, sweet Dunkaroo cream.

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Beats me as to why Cold Stone is getting in on the coffee creamer game, but here it is. There's something to the idea of melted ice cream with your coffee, in a sort of reverse-affogato sense, but this is just a mega-sweet cream attack that you probably don't need. 

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Here's the truth. I was ready to talk copious amounts of smack about Dunkin', as I generally find its coffee to be overrated. But Dunkin's Extra Extra coffee creamer really isn't bad at all, and tastes the most like a sweet coffee without overwhelming sugar and cream. It's almost milkshake-y in the best way, and if you're looking for the most basic of coffee creamers, Dunkin' is a good bet.

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One cannot miss the vanilla flavor here, and that is perhaps because it is the only flavor in this creamer. If you're the person that needs to load your coffee up until it tastes like a bottled Starbucks Frappuccino, reach for this Coffee Mate.

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Most of the nauseating liquid I put in my body for this taste test felt otherworldly. I did, in fact, taste the creamers on their own as well, and the thickness was not something my spirit was prepared for. That said, Chobani smells and tastes like real ingredients. This creamer tastes like nothing but whole milk and real sugar, but that's also what confuses me. Why does this exist? Why not just put actual milk and sugar in your coffee? How much time are you saving here — the time it takes to turn a teaspoon over? There has to be something I'm missing.

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Here's a funny prank to play on somebody you don't like: Tell them to taste this. The smell alone caused me to take a step back, and not because it was spoiled. The flavor is a miracle of modern science, simultaneously tasting overly sweet and bitter. It's like sugar and dirt mixed together. Don't consume it.