Older generations have decades of experience to share with younger generations. Millennials can spend years slowly gaining the experience — and making the same mistakes — on their own, or they can draw on the wisdom of those who've already been down the same road. While they have unique insights of their own, it's up to today's young adults to listen to those life lessons. Here are 25 practical tips seniors would like to pass on to younger folks.
Despite millennials' reputation for slacking, they're putting in long office hours, leading to work-related stress. In fact, they've continued to have the highest reported stress levels of all the generations surveyed by the American Psychological Association since 2014, according to the latest Stress in America study. On the other hand, older adults (72+ years of age in 2017) had the lowest stress levels among the generations since the survey began.
Perhaps younger adults should heed the advice of a centenarian who took a reporter out for a spin on her 101st birthday: "I don't let anything upset me, especially traffic. I don't like stress. I can't stand arguing. If anybody is fussing, I'm gone. I like to be around positive people, people who lift you up not bring you down."
Cornell University professor Dr. Karl Pillemer has compiled the advice of more than 1,500 older American interviewees into two critically acclaimed books, "30 Lessons for Living" and "30 Lessons for Loving". The elders' biggest takeaway is to "take time to craft the story of your life." As we age, what ends up mattering the most is ultimately how our life story has played out. Has it been meaningful? It's important for older people to know that their lives have mattered. Reminiscing, even penning their own memoirs and documenting values for younger generations, has been rewarding in the later stages of life.
He posits, "[I]t's important for older people to record their own thoughts and memories, but it's really critical for younger people to ask them for them, and not just for stories, but for guidance and practical advice for living."
Pillemer spoke with over 700 long-married people about love and marriage, and came up with this sage advice: Don't rush into anything, and choose your partner carefully. Love yourself first before you commit to another person and follow your heart, but also use good judgment.
Lillie, 78, tells him, "The biggest mistake is being too quick to enter a marriage. Get to know that person very, very well in all circumstances, the happiness part and the stressful parts. So both people have to be very willing and very open, and often times make concessions, as they get to know each other. So please, take a very serious look. You cannot mold your spouse into something that you want."
You don't have to seek out the perfect partner on your own. To help make the right relationship choices, look to the people who know you best and listen to what they have to say. Do your friends and family think you're being treated well? Be attuned to how your partner treats other people, as well. Family members, friends, and even coworkers can be helpful allies in your pursuit of love.
We're given many chances to be supportive or dismissive toward our romantic partners. Based on his interviews with older Americans, Pillemer offers: "If I learned one thing about how to keep the spark alive over many decades, there's a point that the elders make that aligns very closely with research. It is an emphasis on thinking small — the small, minute-to-minute, day-to-day interactions that make up a relationship." So encourage and find comfort in even the smallest aspects of your relationship like holding hands at the movies.
People who've lived through generations play a vital role in how our society functions. Listening to the stories and experiences of older generations — whether it's a family member, neighbor, or coworker — can help us understand history and how to better shape our future. Ed, a retiree from the Marines, offered his thoughts: "The millennials are not all bad. It is what it is. But it's up to us to mentor them, to make sure they're doing the right thing and become better assets to the American people, and to this country." Plus, they might actually have some really good advice; A Place for Mom reader, David H., says: "Try to listen to your elders and parents when you are young — remember that they only want the best for you."
It can take some time to land a job you're passionate about, but you shouldn't give up searching for one you love. Persistence, even changing fields many times, to pursue a more rewarding career will be worth it in the end. Harvard Business School graduate Jose M. Faustino says: "I switched fields twice in my academic career — I believed the entire experience was part of growing up. The lesson here for young people: Do not hesitate to switch interests, majors, or fields of concentration. Find your preference or your passion, then focus on it to your heart's content. Success is a journey — not a race."
Similar to saving for retirement, younger adults aren't always thinking of long-term benefits like their health. But millennials aren't invincible; they're actually at a vulnerable age for some serious health-related concerns. Pillemer learned a life-changing lesson from seniors: "It's not dying you should worry about — it's chronic disease." He quoted 84-year-old Charlotte who said: "What you do when you're young, it will haunt you when you get old. If you're young, take care of your body, live right, go to the doctor and keep yourself in good shape."
A big part of staying active in your older years is ensuring you're staying active in your younger years. A centenarian named Ruth advised that what you put in now will pay off later: "I make myself go out every day, even if it's only to walk around the block. The key to staying young is to keep moving." One of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators would still squeeze in his steps at age 101: "To stay healthy always, take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving."
What's the modern day fountain of youth? A lifetime of laughs. In the HBO documentary "If You're Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast," American comedy legend Carl Reiner tracked down several celebrated, funny nonagenarians (and a few others over 100) — Mel Brooks, Dick Van Dyke, and Betty White — to show how the twilight years can truly be the happiest and most rewarding. Reiner has a running gag about life in his 90s: "Every morning ... I pick up my newspaper, get the obituary section, and see if I'm listed," he explains. "If I'm not, I have my breakfast." In the film, Norman Lear notes, "You can't laugh that hard without it adding time (to your life). I mean that from the bottom of my heart."
Keeping the peace goes hand in hand with learning how to communicate and leading a stress-free lifestyle. Ever notice how people you want to be around — whether it's a personal or professional relationship — know how to listen more and can quell conflict without anyone the wiser? One older Reddit user understands what young people need to succeed: "Learn how to resolve conflict. Your personal life will be better, and you will become invaluable to organizations." Always take the high road.