'Now My Life Is Ruined:' 10 Angry (and Hilarious) Recipe Reviews By People Who Failed to Follow Instructions

There are two types of cooks in the world: You've got the bold experts who season meals by eyeballing everything and going, "Hmm, that looks about right," and then you've got the nervous wrecks (guilty) who carefully measure each ingredient and follow recipes to a T. 

But despite our best efforts, sometimes recipes don't turn out as expected. Whether it's because we misunderstood the instructions, omitted key ingredients, or were being a tad careless, there's nothing more infuriating than spending time and money on food that ends up in the trash or going in the dog's bowl. 

What follows are highlights from the many angry and hilarious recipe reviews recently shared on Reddit from home cooks who failed to follow instructions and yet blame the recipe for the resulting disaster. In most cases, they probably should have ordered takeout instead. 

From watery eggs to scorched casseroles, these culinary disasters have got us cracking up — proving that sometimes the kitchen is no place for the faint of mouth — or the absent-minded.

Sure — limes tend to be more acidic than lemons. But did you know they're not always interchangeable? That's news to me. Using a lemon in place of a lime or vice versa is bound to alter the flavor profile of a recipe, especially one features the ingredient prominently, such as lemon cookies in this case.

As a general rule of thumb, lemons are preferred for recipes that call for a more floral, subtle tartness such as creamy pastas, seafood dishes, and Mediterranean or Thai cuisine. 

Limes, on the other hand, are great for adding a zesty, sharp twist to bolder dishes like tacos, guacamole, and cocktails. 

This Redditor's hilarious mix-up of measurements — using one and half tablespoons of salt instead of a quarter of a teaspoon — resulted in a batch of very salty (and probably super gross) cookies. 

This is why carefully following recipe instructions — especially when it comes to desserts — is so important, people! 

We're not judging here, but maybe it sucked because you underbaked it by half an hour? Just saying. As one user points out, the recipe also called for "4 hours of chilling time," yet this home cook "only let it set for 5 minutes!?" Laugh out loud (lol) and shake my head (smh) seemed to be the common consensus with this one. 

This user's decision to swap all-purpose flour for self-rising flour because they "felt a personal connection to the name," has Redditors laughing and scratching their heads. "I have...just so many questions," writes one user, while another adds, "I think it's a weird attempt at a joke." Either way, using the wrong kind of flour in a recipe is always a bad move, pal. 

Related: 25 Kitchen Mistakes You're Probably Still Making

According to this Redditor, their meal was ruined when they decided to add another can of soup to a recipe that already appeared too watery. "It had too much liquid and their way of fixing that was to add more liquid?" writes one user in response, adding, "WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!" 

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This user was so distraught over a recipe's apparent lack of instructions that they had to "throw away all the ingredients" and spend even more money ordering takeout. To make matter's worse, they were "also crying and completely discouraged from cooking any recipes again." 

Instead of feeling bad for the cook, though, users responded with the usual pettiness that's expected of Reddit threads. "I hate it when my food is slightly underdone so I have to throw out all the ingredients and the pan, burn my house down, and relocate to a new country," one user jokingly writes, while another adds, "I’m ALSO crying and completely discouraged." Zero chill all across the board. 

Related: 21 Cooking Hazards That Could Have Disastrous Results

"Sour cream made something tarty? Well color me shocked!" writes one user in response to this Redditor's decision to use sour cream in place of heavy cream for a pie recipe. We have to agree — perhaps one can get away with swapping ingredients that are similar in taste and texture; but sour cream instead of heavy cream?! That sounds like a recipe for disaster. 

There are common substitutes for cooking and baking ingredients — this is not one of them.

This user's complete disregard for a scallion pancake recipe has us dying of laughter. 

"This is hilarious," writes one Redditor in response. "The dipping sauce is my favorite part — 'I don’t have black vinegar, sugar, scallions, or red pepper flakes, and I’m angry that black pepper and soy sauce doesn’t taste like something you’d get at a restaurant'." So, they left out all the ingredients and now they're mad it tastes bad? Make it make sense. 

I'm no professional baker, but this user's decision to use lemon-flavored essential oil in place of lemon and orange zest for a cookie recipe sounds questionable at best, and dangerous at worst. 

As one Redditor points out, the end result was "basically laxative cookies." Oof, talk about a terrible idea — but at least they seemed to enjoy it. 

Related: 10 Innocent-Sounding Ingredients That Are Potentially Dangerous

Once again, this Redditor's one-star review of a cookie recipe after deciding to swap out key ingredients has got users cracking up. "More like, 'cookies ended up with a sandy texture but all I did was swap most of the ingredients with sand'," writes one Redditor, while another adds, "The word egregious is all I can think of." Touché.